Lumbersexual dress is all the buzz. I've been called out for dressing lumbersexually over the past couple of months. So, I felt qualified to make a short video helping others find their lumbersexual style. Here's the original script I wrote. Things changed a bit when we were shooting, but the basic idea is all there.
So, you want to dress like a Lumbersexual... a Paul Bunyan-inspired, Brawny Man that dresses for the woods but lives in the city. Just follow these seven easy steps:
1. The beard. If you are over the age of 25 you should be able to grow a respectable beard in two to three months. If you are betwen 15 and 25-years-old allow five to 10 years. If you are younger than 15 years old await puberty and monitor armpits daily.
2. The hair. If you don't have hair skip to Step 3. The hair must be combed, most often to the side. Visit a barber every two to three weeks to ensure your hair is properly groomed.
3. The beanie. You should wear a beanie in the winter time. Trucker hats are appropriate for warm weather and is the only acceptable heat-releasing accessory.
4. Wear pants. Wearing pants is always a good idea and required with shoes by many restaurants. Blue jeans work best. Dark wash. Slim fit. Roll at least once to highlight...
5. Boots. You will never wear sneakers again. Boots are appropriate for all occasions. They are to be worn with patterned socks, preferably made from scratch wool.
6. Flannel shirt. It cannot be just plaid or flannel; both are required. Buffalo plaid is an ideal pattern. Top button should be buttoned, unless temperatures exceed 80 degrees.
7. The axe. You must own an axe. Do not use the axe for chopping wood but for referencing in conversation and posing for photos.
There you have it. You're a lumbersexual now! Don't forget to post all of your lumbersexual activities to Instagram so that your urban friends can see how outdoorsy and lumbersexual you really are.