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Cancelled**World Cup Party: Italy vs. USA**Cancelled
Editor's note: I'm writing this because I never had the opportunity to deliver a commencement speech, and now I want to.
Dear graduates,
Congratulations. While you may think that completing Century Club or Power Hour (these are drinking games, old folks) were your ultimate collegiate achievements, you now have accomplished something that society recognizes as admirable and for which you will be rewarded with employment (hopefully). You are college graduates.
Now I want to take a moment and warn you of a potential byproduct that, by my estimations, affects approximately 50 percent of recent graduates, regardless of location, degree, or employment status. I'm warning you about post-traumatic college disorder (PTCD). Here's the definition:
Post-traumatic college disorder \(PTCD)\ n : a term for the adverse psychological consequences of sudden removal from a comfortable, healthy collegiate lifestyle into a monotonous work schedule.
If you think you are suffering from PTCD, please contact your physician immediately. Now back to the subject...
While it may seem that B.A.'s are a dime a dozen these days, I am here to assure you that they are not. Remember that half of your freshman class dropped out.
I was walking around Whatcom CC last week, waiting for my Italian II class to start, and realized how many hundreds of students around me were working to get to where you are. I picked up the college's "Horizon" student newspaper that day. Here's what the graduating Editor In Chief had to say in his farewell letter:
"At one point, I was thinking of being done with college after my associate's degree. But after talking to [Whatcom CC] President Heiner, I realized that he wasn't content with just a bachelor's degree or even a master's degree, he attained a doctrine. There's no reason to settle for average."
Hopefully, you already knew a few things about what the Editor In Chief had to say. First, you should know that the second sentence in the quote is a run-on sentence. Second, you should know that a doctrine is different from a doctorate. Third, you should know that there is no reason to settle for average.
Even if your first job is working at Starbucks because you chose an unmarketable major (i.e. theatre arts, liberal studies, philosophy, women's studies, art history, etc.), be satisfied working at Starbucks. If you're not, then move on. You are an educated person. You know what will make you happy and now you have the abilities to pursue that.
(Time for cliche closing quote) In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, "A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad." So, if anything, go out and commit grand theft.
Sincerely,
Paolo, B.A.
You wanted pictures?
I've uploaded a huge Yahoo album (now leave me alone Shelter girls) and a couple new Flickr photos.
That's all folks.
Italy beats Ghana 2-0!
I was at work at couldn't watch the game. I need to talk to the powers that be about getting some cable in the office. I also really wanted to watch the Czech Republic hammer the overrated U.S. 3-0. What a great day.
Drink up, guys. Do it for your prostate.
Oregon State University researchers say that xanthohumol, found in hops (the main ingredient in beer), may help prevent prostate cancer and enlargement, according to an AP report. I love it when universities conduct studies about alcohol. It's probably not hard finding volunteers.
Researchers say "the ingredient is present in such small amounts that a person would have to drink more than 17 beers to benefit."
More than 17 beers? No problem. We can do it - in the name of good health, of course. This is what college prepared us for. Bottoms up.