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I'm leaving shortly for my office holiday party. I've read a few articles about this awkward, cultural phenomenon and have compiled my own Top 10 list of things not to do at office holiday parties. Take notes.

  1. Do not skip it. You can't kiss ass if you're not there.
  2. Do not underdress. I'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Whoops.
  3. Do not be a wallflower or stick with one group of people. Clicks are so high school.
  4. Do not make suprising announcements, like "I'm quitting" or "I'm an ex-convict."
  5. Do not tell the same story over and over. It's an easy trap to fall into when you're making small-talk, but it can also be embarrassing when you tell someone the same story twice on the same day.
  6. Do not forget to socialize with your boss.
  7. Do not forget about the non-Christian holidays. Wear a Santa hat and hold a menorah.
  8. Do not make out with co-workers -- until after the party.
  9. Do not get shitfaced drunk. Just get regular-Friday-night drunk.
  10. Do not listen to rule #9. Go ahead and get shitfaced drunk.

Punctuating my previous commentary about perceptions of racism in America, I read an AP story today about the U.S. Supreme Court reviewing a case against Seattle School District 1, "asking whether Seattle's 'Open Choice' program is an acceptable move toward student diversity or another name for illegal racial quotas."

Seattle parents sued after their children were denied admission to the schools they preferred because of their race. In Seattle, students can request which high schools they want to attend, and the school district either honors or denies their request based on a number of factors, including race. The good-intentioned school district attempts to create racially diverse environments at its high schools by maintaining unspoken racial quotas, and overcompensating for society's racial divisions.

The problem with the school district is that its unspoken quotas are so low that they're noticable, which is why the Supreme Court will rule against the school district.

Rainier Beach High School (Dad's old stomping grounds) is something like 93% minority (this obviously doesn't reflect the surrounding community, which includes a sizable white, Jewish population). There's (literally) a handful of white students who request to go to Ballard High School, end up at Rainier Beach and then wonder why. Well, it's because Rainier Beach needs some white students and the school district's done such a poor job with its Open Choice program and maintaining higher, unspoken quotas (say 50/50ish?) that it's noticable the only reason the white students are attending Rainier Beach is because they're white. The same thing happens to the few black kids or Hispanic students at Ballard.

Instead of encouraging diverse educational backgrounds, the Open Choice program is backfiring. It's creating segregation. Students will choose to go to the same schools as their friends, and the cold truth is that most people associate themselves with people of their own race.

The best thing the school district can do is end the program and go back to drawing neighborhood boundaries so that students attend their local high schools. I know parts of the city are more racially diverse than others, but this will create a more diverse academic environment than the failed Open Choice program.

The school district should be responsible for equally funding high schools and attracting qualified and talented educators, not overcompensating for the way society divides itself. The school district needs to stop wasting money busing students across this city to falsely promote diversity and spend that money on the technology and resources that will help students achieve success at their local high schools.

Often before going out drinking, I'll have friends hand me their cell phones instead of their keys. They're smart enough to know that they shouldn't drink and drive, even under the influence, but I can't trust their impaired judgment with their cell phones. (For those of you starting to sweat, I won't name names.) Both drinking and driving and drinking and dialing can be harmful, but the later is so much more accessible. All you have to do is reach in your pocket.

But once again, technology offers us a solution: a breathalizer phone. I found the following the following article at work today...

"Already a hit in Korea, the LG LP4100 features a built in breathalizer which records your blood-alcohol level. If you're over the limit for driving it displays a little animated car swerving and bashing into traffic cones.

The other feature is the Drunk Dial Preventer. The phone allows you to select certain numbers from your address book and prevent you from dialing them if your blood alcohol level is above 0.08. And lets face it, it's the same numbers whoever you are - ex-boyfriend, potential future-boyfriend, parents, boss."