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"Nina's Wedding"
Act 1, Scene 5

(Paolo sluggishly enters his office, tired from working the previous night on music for his sister's wedding Friday. He blinks and remembers today is her 21st birthday.)

Paolo: "Nina... Birthday... today... Happy..."

(Paolo collapses from exhaustion. His hand falls limp as it fails to grab the near coffee cup in time.)

And scene.

If you know Matt, you know he loves late night walks. Occasionally, this activity screws him over, especially when he's not in a big, familiar city. The following is a transcription of a voicemail I received from Matt on Saturday night that had me laughing my ass off...

"Hey buddy. Uh, I made a series of bad choices. I drank about 3 bottles of wine and then I started walking and I think Iโ€™m in Medical Lake, but I really donโ€™t know where I am. And, uh, I donโ€™t know why I called. I probably wanted to hear a familiar voice.

Um, I thoroughly got lost and now Iโ€™m way out in the country. Itโ€™s way different than walking around in Seattle because there are always buildings around and things. But hereโ€™s thereโ€™s just highway. Iโ€™m not sure.

Anyway, hopefully things are good with you and youโ€™re having a good evening and weโ€™ll talk to you soon. Hopefully Iโ€™ll eventually get some light and find my way home, or Iโ€™ll sober up and find my way home.

Either way, walking for multiple hours is a bad life choice. Alright buddy. Weโ€™ll see ya. Ciao."

Matt slept in a wheat field that night. He didn't make it home in time to attend church in the morning. Kids, learn from Matt. Don't walk aimlessly into the countryside at night when intoxicated.

This Texas Tech University freshman must have been so proud to be chosen as the "bell ringer" to pump up the crowd during the big Houston Bowl game (correction per DeVeau's nerdiness).

However -- due to the unfortunate placement of the bell, the camera and his body -- his family, all of his friends, 15 million ESPN viewers, saw the following...

Now that's what I call showing school spirit!

Everyone pour a dose for one of PRWeb's finest, Al Castle.

Al is retiring from his CIO position at PRWeb after a couple years during which he almost completed total world annihilation. For details of this plan, watch the new Die Hard movie.

In all seriousness, he was integral in PRWeb's success and innovation in the online newswire space. (Read more about how PRWeb reinvented the online PR wheel in a CNN Money/Fortune article here.) He also is one of the most dedicated goofballs ever, and it's surprising that the original PRWeb "brown building" still stands after our combined efforts to uphold lunacy there over the course of a year. Xboxing only contained us momentarily.

Al is reportedly moving from building codes to building sandwiches at the Ferndale Subway. Good luck, Al! I'll take a Subway Melt. No mayo and hold the olives!