Death of the 32x32

I’ve been traveling for work – Minneapolis last week, New York this week. Unfortunately, those to the East like to dress up and believe that button-up shirts and slacks make you think smarter. Obviously, I don’t appear so legit in these foreign lands with my Casual Industrees hoodies and Levi 501s, so I have to step my game up.

I had recalled from an earlier trip this year that my trusty size 32x32 slacks from college were feeling a bit snug around my waist. I guess that’s what happens when you develop amazing abdominal muscles from intense crunches with weights at the gym. It could also be attributed to the fact that I weigh five pounds more than I did when I graduated from college back in 2005. Like I said, crunches with weights.

I did what any guy would do in this situation, I sent Amanda out with my debit card to buy me some 34x32 pants at TJ Maxx.  She bought four pairs of pants and I kept three (Great job, Amanda!) so I was totally prepared for my stint of trips without having to endure the shame of buying lager size pants.

Could you imagine what the cashier at TJ Maxx would have said if she saw that I had jumped a size? I dread to think it.

As I sit here eating a New York bagel piled high with sun-dried tomato cream cheese, I still can’t believe that I need the extra real estate in the waist. I bought my 501 jeans size 34x34 but they are shink-to-fit, so that didn’t phase me. I bought my wedding suit pants in 34x32, but it is a slim fit suit. Heck, even Wesley jumped up to a 32-inch waist for that suit.

I guess I need to let go of the past, embrace my new size 34x32 and let my ripped abs enjoy the luxury of a little more freedom.

We did the Winter Olympics

Sorta. After a breakfast stop at the Bagelry in Bellingham, we spent Sunday in Vancouver to see the sights. We didn't shell out the mega bucks to see an event, but we enjoyed the atmosphere and occasional drizzle.

(Amanda took most of these.)

Foto Friday: Almost Mottola

Phones are the new cigarettes

Gramps tells me stories about working at Boeing back in the Mad Men days -- smoking at every meeting, discoloring walls and tables, and taking smoke breaks every hour. Today I go to meetings where everyone is heads down staring at their phones, and they take breaks to spend more time on their phones. Both habits are odd and totally acceptable in their time.

I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to checking my phone for email, texts and social media updates. It's a nearly constant habit during the day, but when I'm home I try to lose my phone until the morning. I'd much rather enjoy my home than the email burden after-hours.

I got Amanda into a similar habit by accident. Ever since she got that damn iPhone she checks email, Twitter and mostly Facebook like they were lifelines. For example, my alarm usually goes off first in the morning and Amanda rolls over to grab her iPhone and check Facebook. It's become a Pavlovian response.

Phones physically resemble cigarettes. Think about it. Amanda's got this white case for her iPhone. The phone itself is round, thin and shiny. She looks cool when she uses it. All of the hip advertisements and commercials feature people using similar phones. The phones are marketed with the same messages, like "With an app, the phones can help you lose weight." All that's missing is Joe Camel.

You know how you don't realize you have a problem until you see someone else has it? That feeling hit me like a phone bill recently. I suppose smokers can relate. I know a lot of smokers who quit because they didn't like how smokers smelled or what their teeth looked like. All of a sudden I'm noticing that I don't like how hooked Amanda is to her phone and I don't like the way I am either. And I'm worse. It's time for us to wear a patch or start chewing that funny-tasting gum that you only get when you're at a bar.

For more on our connected-disconnected culture, check out this video featuring one of Amanda's new favorite, local musicians, Macklemore.

Honeymoon snafu

Remember that fabulous Costa Rica honeymoon I have been bragging about? Well, AT&T, Expedia and US Airways tried to ruin it for me. Oh how they tried.

First I need to blame Expedia. Amanda and I have both received several voicemails over the last few weeks about how our flight itineraries had changed. Thing was, nothing had changed. We kept receiving follow-up emails confirming the exact itinerary we had originally scheduled! I called Expedia to investigate and the representative I spoke with had no additional information about why we had originally received the calls.

I thought we were in the clear.

Wrong.

Amanda received another voicemail while we were on our way up to Seattle on Sunday to meet the caterer and see the Lake Forest Park reception venue again with Mom and Courtney. Shame on us for having a good time blaring music on the way up!

I called Expedia back immediately. After waiting 15 minutes on hold to speak to someone at Expedia, I spent another half hour or so waiting on hold while the Expedia guy talked to the US Airways. Our return flight had been cancelled and there was no other way to get us back on the day we had originally planned. ANNOYING. Thanks, US Airways! I'm sure the "Happiest Place on Earth" has a tough time attracting enough tourists to fill your planes.

For the record, I think Expedia and like airline aggregates are great. They have a place in the travel industry because they connect the dots between airline itineraries and find the lowest rates. Great. What I hate about them is that they really just are a hurdle when it comes to customer service. I didn't call the Expedia guy just to be put on hold while he calls US Airways! I'd much rather had just called US Airways myself and saved the initial Expedia hold time dammit.

By this time we were at the caterer location, Husky Deli, in West Seattle. I was pacing around the wine section (a comfort zone) while waiting for the Expedia guy to confirm my flight changes with US Airways. This is where the AT&T blame comes in.

I DROPPED THE CALL. I dropped the call after nearly an hour on the phone -- 95 percent of it hold time. AT&T, I need you to keep a line when I am in the middle of West Seattle surrounded by no tall buildings or mountains. I can understand if I was on the slopes skiing or in the basement of UW building, BUT I WASN'T. Shortly thereafter I received an email from Expedia confirming my flight from Costa Rica to Charlotte WITH NO RETURN FLIGHT TO SEATTLE. After all that time trying to figure out ways to get back to Seattle, Expedia leaves us in Charlotte. WTF WTF WTF!

I was done with customer service and dropped calls and all-up errors that day. It was Sunday and I was supposed to be having a good time with Amanda, Mom and Courtney wedding planning. We did. I dropped the stress like an AT&T call to focus on the rest of the day.

I picked up where I left off on Monday morning by calling Expedia again to get a flight from Charlotte to Seattle. I went through the hoops with Expedia again and again dropped the call before I could get confirmation about the changes. That was another half hour lost. I called back. I got a hold of an Expedia agent right away but the hold times for him to call US Airways were extremely long -- 25 minutes at one point. I had the hold music permanently branded into my brain by this point. I had to skip a work meeting just to stay on the line as I would have lost the connection if I had stepped in the elevator. I based out of Tully's for the first half hour of my work day just to wait for the Expedia agent to get back on the phone and confirm the new itinerary, now spending the night in Los Angeles and returning to Seattle a day late. No comp for the hotel either. Subtract that from any wedding money earned.

At least I had resolution. Two hours and 30 minutes later I had resolution. We are getting to Costa Rica and we are coming back and we are going to have a great honeymoon, so help me God.