Farewell, Daughtry

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WTF?!! How was Chris Daughtry voted off American Idol last night?

"A lot of people predicted both of you could be in our finale... A lot of people predicted, Chris, that you could be the next American Idol," said host Ryan Seacrest at the end of last night's show. Then, without his characteristic tension-building delay, Seacrest dropped the bomb: "Chris, you are going home tonight. The journey ends. America, you have spoken and Chris is leaving the show tonight..."

Both Daughtry and competitor Katharine McPhee were visibly shocked by the announcement. McPhee, the last remaining piece of American Idol eye candy, joins Taylor "Wedding Singer" Hicks and Elliott "I'm the Larry Bird of vocalists" Yamin in the semi-finals.

Most of my friends know that my reason to get up on Tuesday mornings is to watch American Idol. I'm not the only one stunned by last night's results. At work today, a humbling, post-defeat vibe permeates the office.

"I'm in denial," said my co-worker Karla. "I've been watching American Idol all five seasons and I've always been happy with the end results. I don't know if I can watch it now." Karla, overcome with emotion couldn't continue to talk about last night's results. "You're talking to a person in mourning."

Tom Cruise Hits Aberdeen Up

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Tom Cruise and fiance Katie Holmes were in Aberdeen, Wash., yesterday promoting "Mission:Impossible 3." According to the AP story, TomKat attended a "private screening at the mall cinema with lucky contest winner Kevin McCoy and 150 of his friends. McCoy won an e-mail contest sponsored by 'M:I3' studio Paramount Pictures and Yahoo."

At the event, complete with a red carpet imported from Seattle, Tom Cruise proved he has gone off the deep end.

After receiving honorary Aberdeen citizenship from the mayor (this is Aberdeen's equivalent to the Nobel Peace Prize), Cruise said, "I am amazed at how beautiful it is here, and you're really warm and wonderful people."

Now that is just crazy. I have been to Aberdeen. It's not all that beautiful, compared to other NW spots, and the people seem frigid and depressed. I thought jumping on Oprah's couch was bad, but it's now crystal clear that Tom Cruise has lost his mind.

Speaking of couch jumping, Aberdeenians do have a sense of humor. Two radio stations sponsored couch-jumping contests until Paramount Pictures intervened, citing the event "reflected poorly on Tom's image."

Aberdeen's last brush with fame was also contest related. In 1996, an Aberdeen resident won an MTV contest and brought Metallica to town. Apparently, celebrities will only go to Aberdeen if a contest is involved.

Of course, Aberdeen's biggest claim to fame is producing Kurt Cobain and slightly lesser-known Ally Evans. Kurt didn't leave Aberdeen and his broken home fast enough, and the severe depression he developed in Aberdeen ultimately led to his demise. Ally, fortunately, escaped the Aberdeen gloom early and moved to Tacoma where she had only to worry about drive-bys and meth labs. She later moved to Bellingham where she had only to worry about hippies and meth labs. Learning that hippies are more dangerous than drive-bys, she'll be moving back to Tacoma later this year.

Moving to T-Mobile

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Today I'm moving over to the T-Mobile family plan. It'll be more affordable. So long, Verizon. We had some good times, but I have to move to the network that'll give me the best deal. I hope you understand.

I'm excited to get a new phone, seeing that my 2-year-old phone is prehistoric. I'm patting myself on the back for not breaking or losing it this whole time. Most people don't make it through a 2-year contract with the same phone, I think.

I will use my new phone (pictured) for the following:

  • Good
  • Making phone calls
  • Saving endangered species
  • Listening to music
  • Protecting rainforests
  • Taking pictures

I will not use my new phone for the following:

  • Evil
  • Text messaging (aka Evil)
  • Throwing
  • As a floatation device
  • Camouflage
  • Gasoline price gouging

Math Error at WWU

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State auditors reported Friday that a former WWU cashier supervisor likely stole more than $117,000 from the university. The auditor was fired in August 2005 for suspected theft.

According to the AP story, "The former cashier likely skimmed most of the money by slipping unrecorded checks into bank deposits and removing an equivalent amount of cash, auditors said."

I know what you're thinking: "Paolo, didn't you stop working at the university August 2005?"

Yes, I did. But I can assure you I'm not $117,000 richer.