If you're going to masturbate, don't be selfish. Do it for a cause.

Yes, according to a Reuter's story, hundreds are expected to attend a masturbate-a-thon in London today. Sponsored attendees will be jackin' or jillin' off to support HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention. The amount of money raised will be determined by how many minutes you masturbate and/or how many orgasms you achieve.

According to the story, "Participants, who have to be over 18, can bring any aids they need and can take part in four different rooms -- a comfort area, a mixed area, along with men and women only areas... However, the rules on the event's Web site states there can be no touching of other participants nor are people allowed to fake orgasms."

Wow.

I remember the days when magazines actually gave its readers news they didn't already know about...

Greek Adventure, Part 10: The Party's Over

After another long couple of flights and almost another airport disaster, I finally made it back home. Bring on the jet lag!

The last couple of days in Greece were pretty low-key as Dad was trying to get better before the flight home. I was a little antsy on the flight from Athens to New York. Eleven hours is a long time to be on a plane.

Our connection at JFK was a little sketchy. You might recall from my first "Greek Adventure" posts that I hate JFK Int'l Airport with all of my heart and soul because we missed our flight to Athens, didn't get any compensation and then had to spend the night in the airport -- causing us to lose a 1.5 vacation days.

The problem came when we were waiting for our baggage to pick up so that we could get through US Customs and re-check it in for a domestic flight. The baggage took way too long to get on the conveyer belt, causing a lot of people to miss their connections. We grabbed our bags at what seemed like the last minute and headed to U.S. Customs. Luckily (and a bit concerning), this was a fast process. U.S. Customs at JFK is a joke. The guy at the kiosk just stamped the passports and let us through. I could have snuck a small child past this guy.

After this poor excuse for national security, we once again had to sprint through JFK (like we did three weeks prior) to catch our Seattle flight. Talk about deja vu.

Long story short, I'm back and this concludes the "Greek Adventure" saga on the blog. I'll get back to offering insight and whining about current events soon. I know you all missed that (read: Gramps and Matt). In the meantime, please enjoy the following videos from the vacation and be sure to check out my Greece pictures at Flickr.

The Prassas House...

Nightlife in Heraklion...

The Avdou House...

Greek Adventure, Part 9: The Black Plague

In the mid-14th century, The Black Plague diseased and killed one-half to two-thirds of Europe's population. (Paolo has a history minor!) We may not be dealing with sickness to that degree, but my family is dealing with its own European health issues.

Dad's had a fever for the past couple days and has basically been chilling (literally having chills) in bed the whole time -- and isn't happy about it. Who would be? Yesterday I contracted pink eye in both eyes. Mom calls it "conjunctivitis," which I think better describes one's tendency to use too many conjunctions (and, but, or) in writing, rather than creating seperate sentences. Either way, my eyes are itchy.

I'm doing my best Ray Charles impression over here, trying to walk around with my eyes closed (so basically I'm breaking shit) and tuning into my other senses. Taste is such a worthless sense for all intents and purposes of basic survival. Thankfully we're in a "social medicine" country, so Dad went to go see a doctor today and it's not costing us a dime. Pharmicist's don't need perscriptions here so I'm heading to the pharmacy later to get some drugs. You literally just walk up to the place and say, "I want that," point to what you're talking about, and the pharmacist hands it to you. It's a sweet deal.

To end on a happy note, here's picture I took around the corner from my aunt's house...

Greek Adventure, Part 8: Random Notes

Earthquake!: Last night I experienced my first Cretan earthquake. My sixth sense was in tune because I was dreaming about watching fireworks and, right when one of them exploded, I woke up to the island rumbling. I felt the earth move under my feet. I felt the sky falling down, tumbling down. The last time I was in an earthquake I was in the cafeteria at Stadium High School. I vividly remember the thud of bricks hitting the ceiling and diving under the table. Ally pushed Nick Snapp out of the way to get under our table, causing Nick to scurry across the room to another table. I had to question Ally's priorities thereafter.

Strength in Numbers: I've discovered a new alcoholic beverage here that I like. It's called raki and weighs in at about 40 percent alcohol if you buy it at the store. However, the homemade raki I've been drinking is basically moonshine, and I'm guessing 50 percent alcohol would be a conservative measure of its potency. If not raki, I'll drink homemade red wine, which weighs in at 25 to 30 percent alcohol and does not give you a hangover because of the lack of sulfites. At the beach I often drink Amstel beer, which is the most popular beer and inexpensive beer. Budweiser is the most expensive beer you can buy -- often double the price of an Amstel. What's water?

Karma: The Washington State Supreme Court upheld the ban on gay marriage. Mel Gibson got a DUI. The prophecies held true. Mel Gibson was the Chosen One. He's brought balance to The Force.