The Olympics are monopolizing my evenings.

I've been sleepwalking at work this week because I've been staying up too late watching swimming, gymnastics, tennis, volleyball, and on and on.

My eyes are scratchy and red. I've got luggage under them.

Why do all the good events have to start at 10 p.m.?! I have to stay up past midnight to see if Michael Phelps will win his next gold medal.

Worse yet, I have two weeks left of this. I'll have aged five years in the meantime.

I went to the throat specialist this morning to figure out what brought me so close to death last week and keeps lingering.

Apparently I'm 11 years old because the doctor says I'm recovering from tonsillitis.

You might recall a some hoopla these past couple weeks over John McCain's commercial poking at Barack Obama's celebrity status, comparing Obama to Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, etc.

Well, Paris Hilton has a response.

... And in breaking news, America's sweetheart John Edwards admits he had an extramarital affair. So much for that VP run. (Thanks to WIB Street Teamer Anna for the tip.)