Dog boards plane vs. boarding

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Actual conversation at work:

Paolo: So when are you leaving for Minnesota?
Cuddy: Sunday.
Paolo: Are you boarding Tusker? (Cuddy's dog.)
Cuddy: Nope. We're taking her with us.
Paolo: Wow. At least that'll save you a penny or two. Kennels are expensive.
Cuddy. Actually, no. Her plane ticket costs more than ours. Our tickets were like $250 each and hers was like $300.
Paolo: Damn!
Cuddy: Yeah dude.

Exercise the demon: Matt plays pundit

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matt_fox

WIB: So, Matt, what do you think of Obama's pick for the new Supreme Court justice?

Matt: The president really reached across the aisle with this pick… Oh wait…There are a host of issues that make Judge Sonia Sotomayor a liberal, activist judge.

She has claimed on several occasions that it is the courts' job to make laws and policies. Read her speech in 2005. I was unclear that the Constitution had been changed to add this new role to the judicial branch. One case that I feel many should look at is Ricci v. DeStefano. Her ruling there should be troubling for all who truly want equal rights under the law, not just for those for who are for political popularity.

WIB: Interesting, so what about --

Matt: I am also very unclear how a comment such as, “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life,” makes you a diverse and open-minded individual. This sentiment flies in the face of the equal rights that Justices Ginsburg and O’Connor have fought so hard for.

So to President Obama… Thank you so much for turning back the clock on the American Equal Rights movement.

WIB: Fervent attacks aside, what do --

Matt: All the fervent attacks aside, I wish the president would just come out and say he is picking a liberal judicial activist. Do not make speeches (like the one at Notre Dame) and claim you want to find middle ground. Middle ground is not showing up for a meeting and outlining your political ambitions. Middle ground is not a three trillion dollar deficit increase.

Here is the reality that we all know. You won. We lost. You get to make your political choices and you are making them fast and furiously. Let the American people choose if this is a path they want to go down. Put aside your false promises for trying to find middle ground. Come out and rule from where your heart is. I would respect you much more if you simply put aside the facade of bipartisanship and govern. If the American people agree with your course they will elect you and your party again. Do not pretend to sell yourself to us as someone you are not.

WIB: Thanks for your long-winded opinion on Obama. Let's move on to a different topic. Where do conservatives stand today?

Matt: Now as for the conservative movement, we need to wander in the wilderness for a bit. This time needs to be spent retooling our message and getting back to the roots of the movement. We need to find our spokespeople and develop a clear single message for the American people. We need to do a much better job presenting our ideas -- not shooting down others. This process takes longer than four months but over time will be completed. Many in the media seem to feel that conservatives are gone and done for, but just like the liberals after 1994, 2000 and 2004, our message will again resonate with the American public. The deep held beliefs of many Americans are traditionally conservative on fiscal issues, national security and social issues. Because of this I feel positive about the future and direction of our country.

WIB: Thank you for your time, Matt.

Matt: God Bless America. Pray in parks.

Gray on the attack

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In the past, I dated girls who colored their hair out of boredom. Now I'm dating older and dating grayer. Amanda colors her hair out of necessity. She's got an invasion of gray hair that she fights back once a month or so with a chemical bomb. The resurgence of gray never bothers me. I'm more entertained by the jokes I can crack shortly after the latest attack.

The joke's on me now. Last week, Amanda stopped me mid-sentence (a tough feat) to reach up and pluck a white hair out of the top of my head. I don't know how she saw it. I've always had a mix of blonde in my dark brown hair and thought she misidentified the rogue hair. She hadn't. The hair had a coarse, wiry texture. Likely, one of Amanda's hairs attacked overnight and embedded itself at my remote station, I thought.

Yesterday, Dad came up behind me and filed through my hair at random. Something caught his eye and signaled him over to investigate.

"Dude, you have gray hair," he said after a moment.

(When Dad was about 30, he grew a patch of gray hair overnight -- dead-center on the front of his hairline. The previous night he had the same black, wavy hair like always, but that morning he emerged with skunk hair. It was odd. It looked cool. It's since become his trademark look, only matched by his Letterman gap.)

Following the proclamation, Amanda and Nina joined Dad's ranks and I suddenly had a team exploring my hair. The Nina, the Guido and the Amanda Renee were on a mission to find a New World of gray.

"Dang Paolo, when did that happen?" the Nina asked.

"Ha ha! You're an old man!" said the Guido.

"I told you, Paolo. You've got more gray than I do!" said the Amanda Renee.

All three confirmed that I had hair the color of Plymouth Rock on the top of my head.

Enough with the Old World metaphors. I've got gray hair, people. No chemical bombs or defensive maneuvers for me. The forecast looks gray from here on out.