A good friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous in the interest of protecting his game, recently started a relationship that he's pretty stoked about. The first couple dates have been smashing successes, but he's hesitant. His chief concern: He asked her out twice in three days, hence breaking the Three Day Rule.
For those too far removed from the dating scene, the Three Day Rule is usually defined as:
a. A rule established by the norms of society about the contact information received by people on the dating scene.b. A rule to prevent a man from appearing desperate or needy after attaining a girl's phone number that he (just) met. Following this rule, you are to wait three days before calling in order to create suspense and appear non-needy.c. An awesome rule created by Jesus, as explained by Barney Stinson in the sitcom How I Met Your Mother. The rule states that you should always wait three days before calling a girl. The three day rule was invented by Jesus, because he waited three days to resurrect.
On a positive note, such frequency means that the pair have avoided dating gridlock, but my friend is concerned about appearing too interested (desperate) by having so much communication in the early stages.
Fortunately, I have gained a sense of enlightenment toward dating as reward for my coming off the market. (I believe Buddhists call this "karma.") To calm my friend's fears, I gave him priceless advice:
"Fudge the rules."
Except I didn't say fudge.
I've learned that if you're looking for true compatibility, then whatever you think - your gut instinct - is what you should go with because whoever you're truly compatible with will be accepting of your decision, even in the early stages of dating. This all really boils down to "Be yourself," with reasoning.
Compatibility is all about communication, so if you communicate unnaturally (Read: follow artificial dating rules), then you're not giving yourself a chance to figure out if the compatibility is there off the bat. If you want to call her the next day, go for it. If she doesn't like hearing from you that soon then she's probably not the right girl. If she's glad to hear from you then you're probably on the right track.
I think Amanda and I went out three times in the first seven days we knew each other, and probably six or seven times in the first two weeks. We talked or emailed every day in between. That's what I wanted. It turns out that's what she wanted. Win win.
Of course, my friend is much smarter than me and already figured much of this out, whereas I made most of my progress via dumb luck. But it still felt good to have had that epiphany and share it with him. Better late than never.
Back to my friend, he told his lady the day after their second date that we was breaking the rules by talking to her so frequently.
Upon hearing this she replied, "Fudge the rules."
Except she didn't say fudge. It seems like a match in the making.
