Dear Eliza, 18 Months Old

Dear Eliza,

I know these letters are about your age milestones, but I'm turning the tables. A couple weeks ago I turned 34, concluding my "Jesus year." I called it that because Jesus did a lot of amazing things when he was 33. While I knew I wouldn't live up to that standard I figured it would be an amazing year anyway. 

(I had also thought up a brilliant, Jesus-themed birthday party when I turned 33 -- fish, water, wine, sandals, long hair, etc. -- but figured that would be frowned upon by the Almighty.)

The year turned out spectacular. We vacationed in Hawaii and Italy. That's not going to happen often. I also returned to Italy a couple months later for work. We found out you're having a little brother! At work, I got a promotion and leadership award. I was able to get more good people good jobs, too. All these things make Dad happy.

Among the many things that Jesus did that Dad didn't in his 33rd year was perform truly selfless acts. Jesus went so far as dying for our sins. I got along fine with the Romans when I was overseas, but I am going to make this next year more about being selfless. I could argue that I already spend a lot of time helping out others, but sometimes there's a collateral effect so I benefit or am recognized. I've had my share of that recently. 

We're on vacation right now in Encinitas, Calif., and I've been reflecting on a couple concepts during downtime: presence and fulfillment. It's a trick of the mind to feel fleeting fulfillment (alliteration!) when you're busy or achieving a lot of things, but that can be also create distractions and prevent you from enjoying the moment and company you're with.

Maybe it's because I'm a little older and wiser, but I've found that when I help out other people, I feel a lot better myself and am naturally more present. So here's to more of that in the next year. 

Speaking of presence, you're currently fighting a nap and rattling off a lot of your new phrases:

• "Mommy go?" -- As in "Where did Mommy go?" usually followed by fake crying
• "Me too" -- In general agreement
• "Pool whee" and "Beach whee" -- Suggesting to go places that are more fun than taking a nap
• "Hap birf'd you" -- One of your favorite songs that you usually like to sing to your cousin Harry
• "News doo doo Elmo" -- Short for "I want to watch 'Elmo's World' on the same screen that you old people watch local news."

How about you do Dad and Mom a solid and take a nap? I guarantee that by helping us you'll wake up feeling a lot better yourself. See how that works?

Love, 
Dad

Dear Eliza, 17 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

You have the best little laugh. Your Mom and her mom are quiet chucklers, but you let it out loud like me. You proclaim your delight.

I'll paint you a picture from the other night. Your usual witching hour is 7 p.m., about 30 minutes before you go to bed. You get especially wild when you're just running around in a diaper before we put on pajamas. Your Mom was pretending to be a dog and crawl up and bark at you (don't ask), and it made you hysterical. Though you can say the words, you still signed "more please" as you wanted her to do it again and again. You shrieked with delight, followed by a gasping laugh. I soon took over, and it was more of the same. All the noise bothered Greta and caused her to rotate around the room looking for lower decibels. Her disgruntlement seemed to spur your delight. 

More shrieking. More giggling. "More please."

You're achieving so many milestones that it's hard to keep track these days. For some reason I commit the more peculiar behaviors to memory. For example, I realized that you can thumb through book pages. You do this with ease and could probably bridge a deck of cards. You also like to put items over your head -- scarves, bandannas and especially dog harnesses -- and choose jackets to wear around the house. I didn't realize toddlers liked to pick out their clothes so soon.

When you have on the outfit and "necklace" of your choice, you walk over to the fireplace glass, which you use as a mirror, to look at yourself. You are always very animated as you evaluate your outfit. I don't know where you got this from because your Mom spends zero time in front of a mirror (natural beauty needs no prep time), and I'm cleaned up and ready for the day before you wake up. That's another way of saying I spend more time in front of the mirror than your Mom, but you don't know that just yet.

All of this makes me wonder if you'll be into fashion when you're older. I guess I work in retail so that's not too far off. 

Here's a little life hint: Some people will like your style, but they'll fall in love with your laugh. Keep laughing out loud, kiddo. 

Love always, Dad

Dear Eliza, 16 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

I struggle with becoming a creature of habit. Routines aren't all that exciting on paper. Spontaneity is what makes the heart jump. 

Yet, our bedtime reading in the rocking chair is so much more fulfilling than just about anything I can think of. It's the calm of the day when you are a lump of weight on my chest and we flip through the same silly little books. You anticipate the stories now and make faces and sounds on queue as the pages turn.

The only other thing that gave me a thrill this past month was an epic powder day and seeing ultrasounds of your little brother with Mom. She is doing such a great job taking care of all of us.

I'm writing this on the plane coming back from a series of work trips. I don't mind the travel, but I mind missing the moments. Your mom does a great job sending me photos and videos so I don't feel too left out. It also makes me want to do nothing more than just be home after a trip. Whereas I was previously tempted to convince your Mom to take an outdoor adventure with me, inspired by travels, I'd rather venture home. 

I've seen sunsets from the top of mountains, but the dimming day from your room window is honestly just as lovely because you're there with me. I'm looking forward to opening up our next book.

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 15 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

You are going to be a big sister!!!

This is major, life-altering, wonderful news. Your Mom and I are really excited for you to have a sibling -- a little brother.

You were such a good baby. We're encouraged to meet someone just like you. We're also nervous we'll have a worse sleeper or otherwise more difficult baby because you are hard to beat!

Unlike waiting for your calculated arrival, your brother has come along the old-fashioned way and it's all felt very quick. The boy is determined! Like most parents, we didn't have a preference if your sibling would be a boy or a girl. We only pray for a healthy kiddo just like we did for you.

The idea of a sister did seem a little easier to us because you've trained us so well, and of course she could wear many of your hand-me-down clothes. Girls like to share clothes, right? You'd be able to share a room when you're both older, too (which helps with our square footage scenario). But a brother is a new adventure for us as parents and for you -- to bout and bond with a boy near your age. Of course, God always intends for us to take the adventurous path. 

I am glad to have a son to have a different experience as a parent. I have always been motivated to raise you, a daughter, because girls and women frankly often have more of an uphill battle in life. Society isn't always kind to women, and women aren't always kind to women, so I am motivated to help you become the smart, resourceful person who can be the change. With a son, I can raise the man who can help make better decisions than the men before him who created the circumstance that you will face. He will have his own challenges as well as masculinity has never been so complicated and polarizing. 

Now, let me give you some advice, oldest sibling to oldest sibling...

Your brother will follow you around, constantly. He will get in your way. He will take our attention from you. He will annoy you. He will mimic you. These are all minor drawbacks for the love and appreciation you will share for each other over time.

While you will grow as individuals, you will always share your upbringing, values and sense of family. You will continue to emotionally and intellectually challenge each other when I slow down. You will influence each other to sometimes a greater degree than I will, and continue to emotionally and intellectually challenge each other when I slow down or am no longer around. He will be as much a part of your story as I am, and I'm thrilled you will have another great man in your life.

And I will be proud of the job you do as a big sister. He'll need you. 

Love always, Dad

Dear Eliza, 14 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

I'm having a pretty solid week. I spent most of it in Italy for work -- just two months after we were there as a family -- and the Seattle Sounders just won their first MLS Cup today in a shootout. (Your Nonno will tell you that shootouts are a terrible way to end a soccer game. Rather, you should remove players from the field at time increments so that the team with the best fitness wins.) 

You've had another solid month. I wasn't the only one traveling. You and Mom went back to Indiana to visit family while I was in Italy. Apparently you're getting to be a handful traveling because you stressed out your Mom. I guess I can't complain about the movie selection on my flights because she had to deal with a squirmy baby. Aside from that, it sounds like you had a great time visiting with Grammie and Popa and your great-grandparents. Of course, everyone is so impressed by how smart you are and how big you're getting. I'm not surprised. 

Your baby talk is making more and more sense. You're keeping up with sign language, too. You're not quite walking but are getting braver, to the point that at the end of a six-step walk toward me from the couch, you dive forward. You like trust falls. You're learning and progressing so much it's impossible to keep track. You are a full-fledged toddler. 

We spent a lot of time getting into the holiday spirit these past weeks. In fact, we saw Santa twice, the first time on accident at a Scandinavian Christmas Fair in Ballard. Your Mom wanted to take advantage of a "test Santa" we discovered at that event. You cried. It was hilarious. 

Later, we went to "real Santa" at the Puyallup Fair because that is your Mom's favorite Santa by far. We went with Your Aunt Nina, Uncle Jeff and cousin Harrison, who sat on Santa's lap first and did amazing. He was so cheery and the photos look amazing. You were up next, and we thought you'd do OK because you saw Harrison sit so well. You cried. It was hilarious. The photos still turned out great in that toddler-freaking-out kind of way. 

We had Thanksgiving at our house this year. All of the Mottola side attended, which was nice. I smoked a turkey and it turned out amazing! Your Mom doubted me and bought a turkey breast to bake as a back up. I don't blame her. I pulled off a miracle. We also cut down a Christmas tree this year. Yes, your old man is skilled with the hatchet. 

Your old man is also awfully tired. I'm still adjusting to time zones. Aside from jet lag, the only real bummer about my trip was being limited to Skype with you and Mom while I was away. It's really hard to be that far from you two. As exotic as the Italian Alps were, there's nothing quite like being at home and hanging out with you and your Mom. And sleeping in my own bed. 

Goodnight. 

Love, Dad