Dear Eliza, 115 Months Old

We have officially entered your hair-dying era.

I’m sure this idea sparked from your circle of friends, but one day, out of the blue, you asked if we could order a temporary hair dye kit from Amazon. Of course, we said yes. You’ve always been tuned in to your personal style, so this wasn’t a big surprise. The kit arrived the next day, and it works a bit like watercolor paint. You added a bold red streak to your hair and immediately said, “Coooool.” Naturally, your brother wanted in on the fun, and you happily gave him a colorful series for school the next day. Since then, you’ve been choosing colors to match your outfits a few days each week.

Hair dye and bleach were all the rage when your mom and I were in junior high and high school, so you’re catching this trend a bit early—not that we mind. Your Uncle Scott and I used to bleach our hair, though he would sometimes get too close to the scalp and end up with a stinging burn. I can’t speak for your Mom, but I know she once had a misadventure trying to lighten her hair that ended in an unexpected shade of red. These phases are all part of growing up, and they make for some great stories and even better photos.

What really surprised us, though, was your sudden interest in getting your ears pierced. Your Mom and I have always been supportive of this, and in hindsight, we all regret not listening to Nonno and getting them pierced when you were a baby—it would have saved us all a bit of stress!

Over the past few months, as more of your friends got their ears pierced, we’d occasionally ask if you were interested, but you’d always brush it off, comparing it to the dreaded feeling of getting shots at the doctor. Recently, though, you’ve taken to wearing sticker earrings regularly, and it’s honestly the cutest thing. I have a hunch that you’re starting to feel like they’re just not quite the real thing, and the allure of real hoops and studs is pulling you in.

Of course, your brother has toyed with the idea as well, though he’s been back and forth on it. We’ll support him either way. Naturally, we all have to joke about whether his first piercing might be as bold as mine—a single eyebrow ring. Like I said, these phases hit all of us, and I have the photos to prove it.

Love,
Dad

Dear Matteo, 94 Months Old

It’s official: my 7-year-old son can out-throw me.

As spring arrives and the days grow warmer, you've been asking to throw a ball after school almost every day. This is partly because Mom and I had a parenting slip by not signing you up for a spring sport like flag football or baseball. Based on our backyard sessions, I can confidently say you'd excel at either.

Lately, we've been reaching for the football most often. You’ve got a tight spiral down, hitting a stationary target with impressive accuracy. I’ve been pushing you to pass on the run, which takes a bit more finesse—anticipating where your receiver is headed and leading them just right. You're already tossing 30-40 yard bombs with a pretty spiral, a clear sign that all that recess football at school is paying off.

We throw the baseball less often, but you have a solid arm there, too. I’ve never had much of a baseball arm, which might explain why I stepped away from organized baseball in the second or third grade. Meanwhile, your Mom has a real cannon, thanks to years of softball, including her days at Bethel College. Go Pilots. Your catching is coming along, too, though I think a bigger mitt might help you snag those tricky high ones.

We've started batting more, too. You’ve always had a knack for making solid contact. We set up the bases and play with ghost runners. When it’s my turn to bat, you fire fastballs from 10 yards away, daring me to make contact. I can still get enough of them to keep the game competitive.

Some of our best conversations happen in the backyard. I think you put up with my questions about school and friends mostly to keep the game going. You're a nonstop talker, filling our playtime with off-color recess jokes, updates on your favorite athletes, and stories from recent playdates with friends and cousins.

I hope we have many more springs ahead, throwing balls in the grass.

Love,
Dad

Dear Eliza, 114 Months Old

I found myself in a surprising and delightful place the other night. We were up at the cabin, and Matteo was ready for lights out before you were. I had planned to read before bed—just like you always do—so I invited you to join me on the couch under the arching lamp.

And that’s exactly what we did. We sat together and read in silence for an hour. It’s hard to describe how cool it is to have a daughter who not only reads big, chunky novels but tears through them even faster than I can. Just a couple of years ago, we were still sounding out words together. Now, we can’t keep enough books on your shelf.

Right now, you’re deep into The Land of Stories series by Chris Colfer. You can finish one of those 500+ page books in about a week—something that would take me at least a month!

You’ve also been busy with dance, which now takes up a couple of nights each week. Your mom and I were especially impressed when you told us you wanted to audition for the school talent show with your friend Nora—on top of your regular dance schedule. We were a little nervous for you, since performing in front of classmates is a whole different experience than dancing in a recital full of parents and family. But you proved just how brave and talented you are. Not only did you make it into the show, but you were the closing act—the best performance of the night!

You and Nora choreographed the dance yourselves to a Taylor Swift song and practiced at each other’s houses after school. The result was an amazing performance that brought the show to a perfect finish.

For someone who’s generally introverted and shy, you really know how to pick your moments. Your reading and dancing continue to inspire, impress, and entertain me.

Love,
Dad

Dear Matteo, 93 Months Old

In a previous letter, I mentioned how you surprised us by cutting your own hair. Since your correction at the barber shop, you've let us know that you want your hair to grow longer, especially in the back.

For weeks, I thought you were aiming for a younger Lionel Messi look, which makes sense, considering his soccer-god status has resonated deeply with your generation. Many boys are going for that style, and some are even embracing the full mullet. Party on.

When I recently asked about the inspiration behind your look, you told me it's related to Prodigy Math, an academic game that looks a bit like low-res Pokémon. For all the screen time you beg us for, Prodigy Math is one of the few we tolerate (and pay for) because of its academic benefits. You have to answer math and science questions to progress through the stages of the game. There’s a character in the game with, well, your emerging hairstyle. You want to look like a video game character—better that than Sonic the Hedgehog, I guess?

Lately, you've been a bit more addicted to screen time, always wanting to jump into Prodigy Math, Mario Kart, or another relatively innocent game. You and Eliza have also been binging Gravity Falls, which is actually a really good show.

Of course, we’re sensitive to how much screen time is appropriate, especially considering the conversations sparked by a show called Adolescence and the ongoing news about boys falling behind academically and socially compared to girls in the digital era. There’s a lot to tempt you on screens, and unfortunately, the vices online only get worse from here.

I’ve made a concerted effort to spend more time outside with you and Eliza, especially now that we have more daylight in spring. I also recommitted to coaching another season of soccer. I’ve said to your mom, “I’m not sure I can do this again,” many times, but I remind myself that coaching is something I should do for you and other boys your age. Because of our socio-economic environment, we’re all too busy, overbooked, and too tired to do the extra family thing. However, the cost of that dynamic is the quality of our children's upbringing, and the "anxious generation" or "quiet generation" we’re alarmed to see not blooming. Programs like team sports can help connect boys with each other offline and expose them to responsible male role models. You came to appreciate Coach Matt this past basketball season, and it was great to see how well he listened to and respected you. The least I can do is pay forward the lessons I received from the parents who coached me growing up. Looking back, I credit sports teams just as much as school for helping me connect with friends. I hope to surround you with the same opportunities. And if, after a tough practice, we need to wind down, we’ll turn on Gravity Falls to call it a night.

Love,
Dad

Dear Eliza, 113 Months Old

We spent a long weekend this past month in Tetonia, ID, staying at the Broili family’s dreamy cabin, which they had just completed building. Your mom visited last year to help Ben and Kelly move in, and she raved about the stunning views of the Tetons and the sunlight that filled the hilltop home from every side.

I love visiting new places, both near and far, and this trip truly filled my bucket. We flew into the quaint Idaho Falls airport, picked up our Toyota Tundra rental truck, and made the hour-long drive to the Tetonia-Driggs area. A storm had been blowing all day, so we were especially grateful for the truck, particularly on the final road leading up to the house, which was a mix of snow and mud.

The house itself lived up to all the hype. I could easily see why it attracts so many renters and influencers for lifestyle shoots. Ben and Kelly designed a home that takes full advantage of its perch, with large windows and spacious common rooms that invite company and provide breathtaking views. Of course, you and Matteo were just as interested in time on your Kindles as you were in the endless mountain vistas.

We didn’t just make this trip to visit a new vacation home; we came to ski those mountains! On our second day, we drove across the pass to Jackson Hole. We stopped at the aptly named Wydaho for a grab-and-go breakfast along the way. Again, I was grateful for the truck while navigating the steep, windy pass to Jackson Hole and the bucket-list resort. We jumped on the Bridger Gondola for our morning runs and enjoyed plenty of powder. After lunch, you, Matteo, and Mom skied the Sweetwater Gondola while I took the Broili kids, Sophia and Collin, up the renowned Tram to the top of the mountain at just over 10,400 feet. We all skied a full day, and the skies cleared from cloudy to bluebird in the afternoon.

The next day, we skied at Grand Targhee, just a 20-minute drive from the cabin across the Idaho-Wyoming border valley. The morning was sunny, and we arrived later in the day to take advantage of cheaper half-day passes. We rode the Dreamcatcher chair to the 9,800-foot peak and were blown away by the incredible views of the Tetons and the valley below. We skied easy blue and green groomers up and down the valley, with plenty of bumps and jumps off-piste to keep you and Matteo entertained. We also skied past a competition and watched a skier pull off a massive backflip over some steep cliffs.

The thing about skiing new places is it’s hard to know where to find the terrain you want. I decided to get us into some steeper tree lines, and unfortunately, Mom took a spill and hit her head. Needless to say, that wasn’t her favorite moment, and it was a good reminder of why we wear helmets! Later, I got us into a bit of a pickle when we skied the Colter chairlift, took a wrong turn, and ended up back at that lift after it closed. We couldn’t ski back down, and the liftie had to call ski patrol to help us get out of the resort. Fail! Matteo and I felt pretty embarrassed, but you and Mom kept your cool. After about 15-20 minutes of uncertainty, we were met by a laid-back ski patroller from Washington, who led us back up the chair and down the mountain the correct way. You thought she was super cool, so we snapped a photo with her to remember the event.

Back at the Broili chateau, we shared our “stuck on the mountain” story with everyone and got to relax for our final night before heading back home the next day.

For all the adventure and skiing, I’m sure what you enjoyed and will remember most was the time spent outside around the house. There was just enough snow for you and Matteo to build a snowman and sled down the driveway. You also tracked animal prints and convinced yourselves you’d found proof of a yeti, due to some large, unhuman footprints in the snow. As your mom and I socialized and looked out the window, we often saw you 50-75 yards away, following your curiosity without a care in the world. That was a great reminder that, while we can pack a lot of activities into a trip, sometimes all you really need is fresh air and a little snow to spark adventure.

Love,
Dad