Dear Eliza, 16 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

I struggle with becoming a creature of habit. Routines aren't all that exciting on paper. Spontaneity is what makes the heart jump. 

Yet, our bedtime reading in the rocking chair is so much more fulfilling than just about anything I can think of. It's the calm of the day when you are a lump of weight on my chest and we flip through the same silly little books. You anticipate the stories now and make faces and sounds on queue as the pages turn.

The only other thing that gave me a thrill this past month was an epic powder day and seeing ultrasounds of your little brother with Mom. She is doing such a great job taking care of all of us.

I'm writing this on the plane coming back from a series of work trips. I don't mind the travel, but I mind missing the moments. Your mom does a great job sending me photos and videos so I don't feel too left out. It also makes me want to do nothing more than just be home after a trip. Whereas I was previously tempted to convince your Mom to take an outdoor adventure with me, inspired by travels, I'd rather venture home. 

I've seen sunsets from the top of mountains, but the dimming day from your room window is honestly just as lovely because you're there with me. I'm looking forward to opening up our next book.

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 15 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

You are going to be a big sister!!!

This is major, life-altering, wonderful news. Your Mom and I are really excited for you to have a sibling -- a little brother.

You were such a good baby. We're encouraged to meet someone just like you. We're also nervous we'll have a worse sleeper or otherwise more difficult baby because you are hard to beat!

Unlike waiting for your calculated arrival, your brother has come along the old-fashioned way and it's all felt very quick. The boy is determined! Like most parents, we didn't have a preference if your sibling would be a boy or a girl. We only pray for a healthy kiddo just like we did for you.

The idea of a sister did seem a little easier to us because you've trained us so well, and of course she could wear many of your hand-me-down clothes. Girls like to share clothes, right? You'd be able to share a room when you're both older, too (which helps with our square footage scenario). But a brother is a new adventure for us as parents and for you -- to bout and bond with a boy near your age. Of course, God always intends for us to take the adventurous path. 

I am glad to have a son to have a different experience as a parent. I have always been motivated to raise you, a daughter, because girls and women frankly often have more of an uphill battle in life. Society isn't always kind to women, and women aren't always kind to women, so I am motivated to help you become the smart, resourceful person who can be the change. With a son, I can raise the man who can help make better decisions than the men before him who created the circumstance that you will face. He will have his own challenges as well as masculinity has never been so complicated and polarizing. 

Now, let me give you some advice, oldest sibling to oldest sibling...

Your brother will follow you around, constantly. He will get in your way. He will take our attention from you. He will annoy you. He will mimic you. These are all minor drawbacks for the love and appreciation you will share for each other over time.

While you will grow as individuals, you will always share your upbringing, values and sense of family. You will continue to emotionally and intellectually challenge each other when I slow down. You will influence each other to sometimes a greater degree than I will, and continue to emotionally and intellectually challenge each other when I slow down or am no longer around. He will be as much a part of your story as I am, and I'm thrilled you will have another great man in your life.

And I will be proud of the job you do as a big sister. He'll need you. 

Love always, Dad

Dear Eliza, 14 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

I'm having a pretty solid week. I spent most of it in Italy for work -- just two months after we were there as a family -- and the Seattle Sounders just won their first MLS Cup today in a shootout. (Your Nonno will tell you that shootouts are a terrible way to end a soccer game. Rather, you should remove players from the field at time increments so that the team with the best fitness wins.) 

You've had another solid month. I wasn't the only one traveling. You and Mom went back to Indiana to visit family while I was in Italy. Apparently you're getting to be a handful traveling because you stressed out your Mom. I guess I can't complain about the movie selection on my flights because she had to deal with a squirmy baby. Aside from that, it sounds like you had a great time visiting with Grammie and Popa and your great-grandparents. Of course, everyone is so impressed by how smart you are and how big you're getting. I'm not surprised. 

Your baby talk is making more and more sense. You're keeping up with sign language, too. You're not quite walking but are getting braver, to the point that at the end of a six-step walk toward me from the couch, you dive forward. You like trust falls. You're learning and progressing so much it's impossible to keep track. You are a full-fledged toddler. 

We spent a lot of time getting into the holiday spirit these past weeks. In fact, we saw Santa twice, the first time on accident at a Scandinavian Christmas Fair in Ballard. Your Mom wanted to take advantage of a "test Santa" we discovered at that event. You cried. It was hilarious. 

Later, we went to "real Santa" at the Puyallup Fair because that is your Mom's favorite Santa by far. We went with Your Aunt Nina, Uncle Jeff and cousin Harrison, who sat on Santa's lap first and did amazing. He was so cheery and the photos look amazing. You were up next, and we thought you'd do OK because you saw Harrison sit so well. You cried. It was hilarious. The photos still turned out great in that toddler-freaking-out kind of way. 

We had Thanksgiving at our house this year. All of the Mottola side attended, which was nice. I smoked a turkey and it turned out amazing! Your Mom doubted me and bought a turkey breast to bake as a back up. I don't blame her. I pulled off a miracle. We also cut down a Christmas tree this year. Yes, your old man is skilled with the hatchet. 

Your old man is also awfully tired. I'm still adjusting to time zones. Aside from jet lag, the only real bummer about my trip was being limited to Skype with you and Mom while I was away. It's really hard to be that far from you two. As exotic as the Italian Alps were, there's nothing quite like being at home and hanging out with you and your Mom. And sleeping in my own bed. 

Goodnight. 

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 13 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

This is a fascinating, tumultuous time in America as we have just learned our next president will be Donald Trump.

You will look back at him as I do Ronald Reagan and George H. W. Bush and just think of him as a president, not someone who had a previous life as a public figure. Previously, Trump had been known as a New York business man and reality TV celebrity. During his presidential campaign, he said a lot of terrible things about women (hence why you have a "Nasty Woman in Training" shirt) and minorities, but appealed to a set of the population that felt underrepresented or fed up with President Obama and status quo politics. His election is an amazing political feat considering that never before has someone without political or military experience become president. 

And never before has a woman become president. 

I hoped that as amazing it is that you were born during the time we had a black president, you would next see the first woman president. Unfortunately, Hillary Clinton did not break the highest glass celling. She had a lot working against her and a lot of baggage as a career politician. Like Trump, she wasn't the perfect candidate by any means (and your marketer dad will tell you she didn't deliver a strong, singular message that people could really get behind).

There will be many more presidents in your lifetime, and I am confident you will see the first woman president.

I have to believe that because I have to believe that your potential is not limited. I have to believe, like so many other first-world countries have already, America will elevate a woman to the highest office based upon her qualifications.   

Being a politician is a tough career path. Though most people will say I enjoy being in the spotlight, I never had an interest in that kind of attention. Maybe you will. Maybe not. But you will enter some kind of career where you will be evaluated for your skills and potential, and being a woman will affect how you will be treated. Hopefully this is minimized by the efforts of employers and a new generation of female executives creating a more equal workplace. Or you may encounter challenges like women today who fight for equal pay and improved benefits (childcare, extended paid leave, etc.) to help sustain their careers while taking on the toughest job -- being a mom. Hopefully by the time you start your career there will be a lot of progress on those fronts.

I currently work for a CEO at REI who said (I'm paraphrasing), "I have always been unqualified for the jobs I've been given, but people believed in my potential to have success."

I hope that future employers see your potential. I will. I bet more often that not, you will be qualified.

I'll leave you with a quote from Hilary Clinton's concession speech yesterday: 

"And — and to all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams."

Dream big. 

Love always, Dad

Dear Eliza, One Year Old

Dear Eliza, 

A few days ago, I found my eyes leaking as you slept on my chest. You're usually the one with leaky eyes before bed, but I guess it was my turn. 

I felt overcome with emotion because it's so rare that you sleep on my chest these days, and I realized how so many moments like that will return rarely and eventually never again.

The bittersweet trade-off is that for those cherished moments that slip away, I can't wait for the next ones when you try something new or become more engaged with the world around you.

We saw an exotic slice of the world in the last month, spending two lovely weeks in Italy. You were totally resilient as we carried you through Sorrento, Tuscany, Cinque Terre, Florence and Rome. Most of that carrying was done by backpack, so your old man stayed fit as you progressively gained a little wait due to a 100% pasta diet. Nearly 10 years ago, I went to Italy for the first time on a solo trip to challenge and find myself as a newly minted college graduate. Going back and sharing an experience in Italy with you and your Mom meant so much to me. I couldn't have imagined then where we are now.

I know what you're thinking, "I don't remember the trip!" Don't worry, we'll go back again when you're older.

The language barrier reminded me of how quickly you're picking up language (mostly English, plus "Ciao"). You're speaking a lot of gibberish, which is just delightful to hear. You're so serious speaking so silly. You're not quite walking, but I think you will in coming weeks. Those Italian cobblestone streets weren't easy to practice on. 

As you know, your Mom and I had a long road to meet you. The stork refused to deliver you to us for a few years. I managed through that time period the same way I do most things, by documenting. I made this video to show you how tough and resilient your Mom was through it all. We were so motivated to bring you into the world, and to no surprise your Mom did all the hard work. Whenever you watch this video, give your Mom a squeeze. She earned it. 

Eliza, I don't have words to express how thankful I am for you, and how much I love you! This has been the best year. Better than I could have imagined. Thank you. 

Love, Dad