Body language: Perhaps the most effective form of communication.
Your eyes, facial expressions, hand gestures and posture can exhibit layered tones. Your four-year-old mind is still learning all the ways to leverage body language more effectively than the volume of your voice or the limitations of clenched fists alone.
As you’ve gotten bigger and stronger, you’re able to push your way around a little more. You’ve become tempted to hit, kick and slap a family member when you’re angry about something or winding down for the night. Those actions sometimes trick me into thinking that you’re intentional about what you’re doing, and I have to remind myself that you’re still figuring out how to productively express yourself.
When we catch you flailing at us wildly like an extra in a kung fu movie, we try to say, “Matteo, tell us how you’re feeling with your voice, not your kicks,” or “Matteo, use gentle hands.”
And usually nothing needs to be said. You just want a hug or cuddle with your Mom to calm yourself down. I personally recommend the last option there.
The trick with being a strong boy and eventually a strong man is to control and manage how you are perceived and act physically, especially during stress. It’s easy to use size and strength to get your way, but it’s rarely the best solution.
While you’re in your fourth year, fire away. We’ll help you know when you’ve got it under control and when you’re over-the-top. We’ll probably tell you with body language first, and you’ll eventually get the hint and chill out. That’s the whole idea.
Love, Dad