Dear Charlize,

I read in the Seattle P-I that you’re spending some time in the Pacific Northwest shooting “The Battle in Seattle,” a movie based on the 1999 WTO protests.

As a local Seattleite, I’d be happy to show you around town and can share my memories of WTO to better help you prepare for this role. (I vaguely remember watching the protests on TV and not really caring about it when I was in high school -- invaluable information). Of course, our meeting *cough* (date) does not have to be strictly about business.

I’m sure you’ve already realized that your boyfriend and “The Battle in Seattle” director Stuart Townsend is horrible in his directorial-debut and is therefore an absolute tool. The writing on the wall must have been when he unveiled the movie’s title. Who would name a protest movie after an annual WWU vs. CWU football game? I’d strongly discourage dating co-workers anyway.

So, let’s meet up somewhere downtown. We can go out for dinner and then we can meet up with your costars Andre 3000 of Outkast, Woody Harrelson and Michelle Rodriguez of “Lost” for drinks later on. What do you say?


P.S. I wish you would have told me about your nude scene at the Seattle Center beforehand. Nude protesting was an integral part of the WTO event and I would have applied the body paint on you myself to help you achieve a more accurate portrayal.