I’m probably more prone to sleep injuries than most because I sleep so much. I was known to take two naps a day in college and napped daily at PRWeb during my lunch hour. I’ve woken up to a “dead arm” before (when you sleep on your arm and cut off circulation to the point that you can’t move it), but this takes the cake.
I got the single-greatest calf cramp of all-time. The power of this cramp could have ended all wars or fed the hungry, but instead decided to send my calf muscle nearly up to my ass. I grabbed the muscle immediately, trying to push it down, but all of the calf raises I’ve been doing at the gym were paying off and I was losing the battle. This painful event literally lasted 10 seconds -- an eternity in the world of muscle cramps -- before the muscle decided to relax.
I’ve had hamstring cramps a couple times before. They’re nearly instantaneous and I hardly remember them when I wake up. Katrine says they happen because I don’t drink enough water and need to eat bananas because I don’t get enough potassium. She’s so wrong. Those hamstring cramps were spies for the calf cramp. They scouted and helped the calf plan for the massive New Year’s attack. Bastards. This wasn’t dehydration. This was terrorism.
So, I hobbled along through New Year’s Eve. I stopped at times to stretch the muscle against bus stops. People stared curiously as they walked past me, but couldn’t understand the discomfort. A couple girls looked back and laughed at me. We’ll see who’s laughing when they’re attacked in their sleep by their own calf muscles. We’ll see who’s laughing then.