Very few articles irk me in a jaw-dropping way, but this last Saturday I picked a few-day-old Seattle P-I laying on my table at a Capitol Hill coffee shop and nearly choked on my Americano.

Headline: "Beach bonfires may be banned"
Subhead: "They fuel global warming, parks department says"

I'm as liberal as the next Seattlite in all ways environmental, but to say that that bonfires at Golden Garden or Alki significantly contribute to global warming is plain stupid.

According the the article, Seattle Parks recommends reducing bonfires at the two beaches this summer and possibly banning them altogether next year. A memo released last Thursday states, "The overall policy question for the Board is whether it is good policy for Seattle Parks to continue public beach fires when the carbon... emissions produced by thousands of beach fires per year contributes to global warming."

There's a line somewhere in my head for how much I think society should sacrifice for conservation, and it's been crossed here. I can think of a thousand ways we contribute to global warming locally. Well, maybe like seven ways. The point is, lighting a bonfire isn't one of them.

Moreover, I'm getting what, maybe two months of summer this year? The weather is restrictive enough (See previous post) to outdoor activities. We don't need Seattle Parks hippies weighting the burden.

In fact, the first place I'd like to start a bonfire this season is under the asses of Seattle Parks staff. Hippie kabobs for all!