EXCLUSIVE! Kenna's last US interview

Kenna is taking off soon for Korea, where she will spread English to the masses so that our children’s children’s children will surely have overseas, Korean bosses who will be legitimately smarter. America will fall and we'll all be able to thank Kenna for it.

Kenna needs the money though. As you can see (left) she could only afford one candle for her last birthday. Before Kenna takes off, she graciously allowed me an exclusive interview. Full transcript below:

WIB: What exactly will you be doing in North South Korea?

K: Hopefully nothing. I will however be teaching English to 6 & 7-year-olds in Busan, South Korea.

WIB: Good luck balancing "nothing" and "teaching." What grades did you receive for English in college?

K: I skipped English 101 because of my high AP test scores, and moved right along to getting A's and B's in most of my classes.

WIB: So you're meeting minimum requirements. That's OK. What was the length of time between learning about the job and formally accepting it?

K: One week. I did search for about two months before finding the right job.

WIB: How many Korean friends do you have now? How many do you expect to have when you return?

K: Does Lindsay Walker count? Wait, no she's Japanese. I hope to have lots of Korean friends when I come back.

WIB: Walker counts. How many Korean roommates did Paolo have in college?

K: One. Final answer.

WIB: That's correct. Willoughby! He and Walker look the same to me, supporting your earlier answer. Can you describe any experiences you’ve had with Korean culture?

K: I just finished a book on Korean etiquette. Other than that? My sister has told me a few food horror stories from her visit to Jeju Island.

WIB: I learned everything from Team America, personally. Speaking of, which one of these movies is based upon Korean culture? Kung-Fu Panda, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon or Rush Hour 2?

K: This is tough. Kung Fu Panda?

WIB: Wrong. Kung Fu Panda is set in an alternate Chinese culture. I think they're all based on Chinese culture actually. Anyway. True or false? Federal Way is a sister city of Korean city.

K: True.

WIB: Correct. Donghae is Federal Way's sister city. Don't ask how I know that. South Korea is known as one of the most democratic countries in the world because of its high voter turnout. Could Barack Obama win a landslide election there, too? I think he did well in Federal Way...

K: Probably if he created the same pop culture frenzy... and sang Karaoke.

WIB: Do you consider yourself proficient in Origami?

K: One time in the first grade my friend gave me a little hot pink origami bird. I kept it for a while, but there is no way I could replicate it.

WIB: What is North of South Korea?

K: Weapons of nuclear destruction.

WIB: Close enough. If during a late night, drunken stupor you stumbled across the demilitarized zone and ran into Kim Jong Il, what would you say?

K: "Anyong-Haseyo," which is hello in Korean and the only thing I know how to say.

WIB: If you come back in one year and the U.S. economy is still in a slump, what other country would you most like to teach English in?

K: Paris would be nice.

WIB: Paris is a city. France is a country. Surely you’re starting a blog to chronicle this journey, or as the samarai would say, “Suzuki.“ Where can we find you online?

K: I will be starting a blog, but am stumped on what to call it. Any suggestions?

WIB: How about "Kenna's Korea Korrespondence"? KKK shouldn't carry the same vibe over there...