I concede to the Swedes

On Saturday, Amanda and I made the silly mistake of going to IKEA with an agenda.

You can't just go to IKEA with an agenda. IKEA goes to you with an agenda. It chews you up through a maze of home furnishings and spits you out defeated, $200 poorer and with boxes that hardly fit into your sedan.

Damn those clever Swedes.

We had a game plan: Look for lanterns and candles for the wedding. Buy them. Leave.

IKEA had a game plan: Start us with a large yellow bag. Send us through a labyrinth. Entice us. Stop us at a deli. Make us pick up a shopping cart when we don't need it. Hide the bathroom. Make us pick up our own boxes. Let us check ourselves out. Send us home to put our own furniture together.

Do people even need to work there? The whole system is automated. Damn those clever Swedes.

We ended up buying the candles but no lanterns. We bought a couple large house plants, a Miami Vice-white executive chair (see previous post), a couple rugs, napkins, a chalkboard for the kitchen and other items that I can't remember but totaled more than $200.

IKEA, you took my pride and my freedom. I salute you damn Swedes.