Craigslist Lawn Mower Courtship

Odd title, right? What does a Craigslist ad for a free lawn mower have to do with courtship? Everything. I listed my broken, free lawn mower on Craiglist and felt like a young woman getting harassed on an online dating network. My lawn mower brought ALL the boys to the yard.

The response in the half day I had it listed was overwhelming. Most impressive was the way the responses were crafted. I was intrigued by some and confused or totally turned off by others. I felt like I was on again.

I've categorized some of the responses I got:

The Quickie Reply:

“If U still have I'll need your address? Paul”

I would like to come pick this up today if possible. I am free all day long. My cell is (360) 829-XXXX.

I'll take it! it's now 11:41 am Sunday. I'm in north Tacoma out near Pt. Defiance can be there in less than 30 minutes. THANK YOU!

The Swooner Reply:

“I'd be more than happy to take that off your hands if you still have it.  Just let me know when and where.  Thanks in advance!”

“I have a Craftsman also, yours looks like mine its not working either maybe between the two I could get one working.  Where can I pick it up?”

Hello, Happy Father's Day! I would like to come down and pick it up. Let me know when and where. Thank you, Earl

The Desperate Reply:

“If you still have the mower or they didn't show”

The Swingers Reply:

“My husband (Marc) could pick this up from you today. You can call him at 253-606-XXXX.”

"do you still have this? Patty and David 253-833-XXXX"

The Pimp Reply:

“we have a mower just like this one so we could use yours for parts call Linda at 253-961-XXXX thank you"

'll PAY you $10 for it as's EXACTLY like mine and mine's missing a couple pieces... and I know they're going to cost me more than that at the lawnmower shop. Thanks!

Hey. I need A lawn mower. I'd love to take that one off your hands if you still have it. 253-381-XXXX. Curt

The Intangible Reply:

“IF NO ANSWER PLEASE LEAVE AMESS & i'LL GET RIGHT BACK TO YA ,THANKS......................................................... “

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What should we learn from this? First, more of Americans are illiterate than we thought. Second, if you’re ever in the need for attention online, just put a free lawn mower on Craigslist. You’ll be in high demand.