The Dexter Method to Shaving and Cleanliness

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The ladies at work and I were discussing annoying bathroom habits of our significant others, and one of them brought up how much she hates her fiance making a mess shaving. "The hair goes everywhere," she said. "You can't stop it. Just when you think you have it cleaned up, you find another hair. It's endless."

Take that and the likelihood that shaving long hairs will contribute to drain cloggage and you've got a bathroom nightmare that may threaten the very relationship that you shave for.  In a culture and time period when women expect ample manscaping, things need to keep tidy around the body and the bathroom.

We're only going to be talking about face shaving in this conversation, but you can imagine how this conversation can evolve. (See the Knocked Up clip, NSFW).

When I explained the following to the girls about my hygienic shaving preparations, one of them said I set up like Dexter does before a kill, and it's totally true, so I'm going to call this one the "Dexter Method."

Step 1. Remove all bathroom items (soap, deodorant, toothbrush, etc.) within arm's length away from the shaving area. This should be just about everything.

Step 2. Take paper towels or plastic wrap (hence the Dexter reference) and cover all parts of the sink and perimeter counter space. This will ease your clean-up and save your drains from excess hair disposal.

Step 3. Lean in and shave. Use the sink as appropriate, but don't let too much of the hair exit via the drain.

Step 4. After the conclusion of shaving, step away from the mirror. Give your eyes a rest for a minute and return to make sure you've shaven as you'd liked. Often you can make an additional mess by touching up after you've cleaned, undermining your previous efforts.

Step 5. You should be finished shaving, including taking care of any bleeders, and ready for clean up. Take your paper towels or plastic wrap and pull it up in such a way that you don't lose your shavings. Dispose of this in your lined trash bin. Run the sink to drain the remaining shavings.

Step 6. Take a wet cleaning wipe and completely wipe down the sink and surrounding counter. Look at the floor and do the same.

Step 7. This one is key. Use a dry rag and wipe down the area again. Your significant other may walk into the bathroom shortly following your shaving and although the space is clean, you also don't want it to look like a tsunami crashed in your bathroom.

Step 8. Look at yourself in the mirror again. You look good. You know, she'll know it.

Now, do I do this all the time? No, but knowing is half the battle. It's also the reason why I have a beard half the year - this is a lot of work.

Back to my popular culture reference, Dexter prepares and sanitizes his kill location meticulously so as not to get caught and keep his image up. Think like Dexter: Hack away, but clean up after yourself.

Awesomeness Reminders

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Valentine's Day is tomorrow and it is the toughest holiday to deliver upon. I know that some female lawmaker stuck it on the calendar for mid-February to remind all men that they still have to be romantic in the New Year if they haven't been already. You're allowed just enough time to recover from Christmas, and if you're going for an expensive gift, a tax return may be in your near future. Apparently Christmas can't be the last winter-season, mandated holiday to give a gift or at least say Thank You with a Hallmark card. It's been challenging for me to be surprising or spontaneous since Amanda and I began commuting together and downsized to one car. Thinking back on my best romantic ideas, they usually involved some independence of time and access to transportation. Without either, I'm limited to whatever's across the street from my office at Bellevue Square, which could be a lot worse, or whatever I can order online, have shipped to work and carry on a bus. While these don't seem like major limitations, everything that corporate America can offer in Bellevue doesn't usually result in a unique gift.

So, I just have to be more resourceful and creative. No big deal. I had a major win just before Christmas by surprising Amanda with a month of Awesomeness Reminders, a service where a real person will call whomever you designate every day to tell that person how awesome he or she is. I can't take complete credit for the idea. My coworker Tara purchased a month of service for our boss, who was both flattered and perplexed about why she was getting calls from strangers every day. It was fun, random and a perfect gift for Amanda because she's awesome. I set the service up and let the operators know that they should mention that she's the best nanny and makes the world's best cheesecake, just to personalize the messages.

Here's one of the Awesomeness Reminders she received:

At first Amanda thought someone at my office was prank calling her for me. I denied it as it wasn't true. Then after a few days she thought it must have been someone at my work because the strangers calling her had mentioned that she makes "the world's best cheesecake" and at some previous social events for work she had promised making a cheesecake for the office but hadn't yet delivered. After a week she was just weirded out that strangers were calling and she almost always let the calls go to voicemail. I gave in after a week and let her know I had set up the service when she was teetering somewhere between flattered and concerned. I just wanted her to enjoy the compliments for the remaining few weeks.

I felt good about my level of game after that, but then the Christmas Chivalry Fail happened.

I think I have a good date lined up for tomorrow. We'll see. I managed to work around my access limitations OK. For those husbands out there struggling to get creative for your own Valentine's Day mojo working, here's some advice: The difference between the excitement of early dating and long-term relationship dating is the preparation. Something about sharing a bathroom when you're getting ready removes the Wow Factor compared to seeing your date done-up when you pick her up. So, leave the house 30 minutes early and well ahead of her being ready. Drive to the grocery, pick up some flowers and then pick her up back at your home, just like you would have for those early dates. That will surely set the romantic tone.

And that's only the first part of tomorrow Valentine's Day date for Amanda. Sorry guys, but I can't give away all the secrets!

Everybody's Skiing For the Weekend

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La Nina hasn't cranked out all the snow we were hoping for by this time in the ski season, but nevertheless I've already been up skiing twice as much as I did last year. I credit this to two factors: work and Scott.

I kicked off the season skiing at Colorado for a work event, and I'll be headed to Jackson Hole, WY, Alta, UT, and Squaw Valley, CA for some marketing events and skiing in the next month. I'm also working on a marketing event on the home turf - Crystal Mountain! - for March. When work doesn't have me traveling, Scott has been the catalyst to get my ass up on the mountain whether for good or terrible conditions. Nothing new there! Amanda has been up a couple times, but we're waiting on some better weather to stretch that nearly $70 lift ticket at Crystal for optimal conditions.

Scott has been chronicling the ski season at his blog Cascade Gravity Research, and put together the video below. I made the cut in a few shots. Check it out!

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This King's Speech

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Amanda insisted for weeks that we see The King's Speech. I combated her with my need to see the new Harry Potter. Alas, she prevailed, reasoning that she could not see the latest Potter movie before reading the book or seeing the previous movies. I'm still looking for the rock Amanda hid under for the last 10 years to avoid that chunk of culture. We saw the movie with J. Ruckle last weekend. It was delightful. Anyone who has every had a stutter or a paralyzingly reaction to public speaking, like myself, may have an especially warm feeling for the movie.

These past few years, I've gained a good reputation for leading a crowd but that wasn't always the case. In the movie, there's a painful scene when the not-yet king addresses the British Empire Exhibition at Wembley. This was representative of my early high school years.

I blame private school.

I was an over-confident reader through elementary and junior high school. That was because I had the same audience of 40ish peers during those school years. My teachers were the only rotating listeners. When I transferred to public high school, my freshman class was 10x larger, and of the 400+ students I only previously knew two. When I was first asked by my English teacher, Mrs. Thomas, to begin reading a paragraph out of some classic literature book, my voice, and subsequently my confidence, shook.

That episode repeated over and over, book after book, for the next couple years. The curriculum was that each student would take a turn reading a paragraph. When it came to my turn, a good friend like Wesley would be ready to voluntarily takeover reading when my voice shook uncontrollably, usually by the second sentence. I could talk just fine in class discussions, but when there was a book in my hand and only the sound of my voice in the room, ugh.

I don't know what broke my nerves. I didn't have a speech therapist like George VI in the movie. I just got over it eventually. My confidence rose in other aspects of school life, so that helped. I also had the support of Wesley or Mrs. Thomas (who thankfully taught freshman and sophomore English) whenever I fell into a stutter or shake in my voice.

By college, I had other avenues to get comfortable with public speaking. I started DJing at the college radio station - there was no alternative but dead air if I didn't deliver the ad messages between songs. I also took on editor roles for the student publications, providing more opportunities to speak in front of peer groups in person. With each opportunity, my voice shook less. It never quite stopped - it still happens occasionally - but I at least know I can get through it.

The big payoff (George VI's war announcement equivalent) was my ability to speak through a best man's speech at Scott's wedding. It was the first time I felt completely confident about speaking since junior high. That was one of my proudest moments and still is for many reasons. More special occasions have followed, including my own wedding and speaking at Gramps' funeral this past weekend. Of course, grad school and work have provided me good, consistent practice to get in front of people and talk as well.

Public speaking always ranks highly on "most feared" activity lists. I wonder what percentage of people get over that fear. For me, my desire to lead overcame my tendency to cower. In a position of leadership, whether king or mid-career manager, people need to listen. So I needed to learn again how to speak.