Dear Eliza, 14 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

I'm having a pretty solid week. I spent most of it in Italy for work -- just two months after we were there as a family -- and the Seattle Sounders just won their first MLS Cup today in a shootout. (Your Nonno will tell you that shootouts are a terrible way to end a soccer game. Rather, you should remove players from the field at time increments so that the team with the best fitness wins.) 

You've had another solid month. I wasn't the only one traveling. You and Mom went back to Indiana to visit family while I was in Italy. Apparently you're getting to be a handful traveling because you stressed out your Mom. I guess I can't complain about the movie selection on my flights because she had to deal with a squirmy baby. Aside from that, it sounds like you had a great time visiting with Grammie and Popa and your great-grandparents. Of course, everyone is so impressed by how smart you are and how big you're getting. I'm not surprised. 

Your baby talk is making more and more sense. You're keeping up with sign language, too. You're not quite walking but are getting braver, to the point that at the end of a six-step walk toward me from the couch, you dive forward. You like trust falls. You're learning and progressing so much it's impossible to keep track. You are a full-fledged toddler. 

We spent a lot of time getting into the holiday spirit these past weeks. In fact, we saw Santa twice, the first time on accident at a Scandinavian Christmas Fair in Ballard. Your Mom wanted to take advantage of a "test Santa" we discovered at that event. You cried. It was hilarious. 

Later, we went to "real Santa" at the Puyallup Fair because that is your Mom's favorite Santa by far. We went with Your Aunt Nina, Uncle Jeff and cousin Harrison, who sat on Santa's lap first and did amazing. He was so cheery and the photos look amazing. You were up next, and we thought you'd do OK because you saw Harrison sit so well. You cried. It was hilarious. The photos still turned out great in that toddler-freaking-out kind of way. 

We had Thanksgiving at our house this year. All of the Mottola side attended, which was nice. I smoked a turkey and it turned out amazing! Your Mom doubted me and bought a turkey breast to bake as a back up. I don't blame her. I pulled off a miracle. We also cut down a Christmas tree this year. Yes, your old man is skilled with the hatchet. 

Your old man is also awfully tired. I'm still adjusting to time zones. Aside from jet lag, the only real bummer about my trip was being limited to Skype with you and Mom while I was away. It's really hard to be that far from you two. As exotic as the Italian Alps were, there's nothing quite like being at home and hanging out with you and your Mom. And sleeping in my own bed. 

Goodnight. 

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 13 Months Old

Dear Eliza, 

This is a fascinating, tumultuous time in America as we have just learned our next president will be Donald Trump.

You will look back at him as I do Ronald Reagan and George H. W. Bush and just think of him as a president, not someone who had a previous life as a public figure. Previously, Trump had been known as a New York business man and reality TV celebrity. During his presidential campaign, he said a lot of terrible things about women (hence why you have a "Nasty Woman in Training" shirt) and minorities, but appealed to a set of the population that felt underrepresented or fed up with President Obama and status quo politics. His election is an amazing political feat considering that never before has someone without political or military experience become president. 

And never before has a woman become president. 

I hoped that as amazing it is that you were born during the time we had a black president, you would next see the first woman president. Unfortunately, Hillary Clinton did not break the highest glass celling. She had a lot working against her and a lot of baggage as a career politician. Like Trump, she wasn't the perfect candidate by any means (and your marketer dad will tell you she didn't deliver a strong, singular message that people could really get behind).

There will be many more presidents in your lifetime, and I am confident you will see the first woman president.

I have to believe that because I have to believe that your potential is not limited. I have to believe, like so many other first-world countries have already, America will elevate a woman to the highest office based upon her qualifications.   

Being a politician is a tough career path. Though most people will say I enjoy being in the spotlight, I never had an interest in that kind of attention. Maybe you will. Maybe not. But you will enter some kind of career where you will be evaluated for your skills and potential, and being a woman will affect how you will be treated. Hopefully this is minimized by the efforts of employers and a new generation of female executives creating a more equal workplace. Or you may encounter challenges like women today who fight for equal pay and improved benefits (childcare, extended paid leave, etc.) to help sustain their careers while taking on the toughest job -- being a mom. Hopefully by the time you start your career there will be a lot of progress on those fronts.

I currently work for a CEO at REI who said (I'm paraphrasing), "I have always been unqualified for the jobs I've been given, but people believed in my potential to have success."

I hope that future employers see your potential. I will. I bet more often that not, you will be qualified.

I'll leave you with a quote from Hilary Clinton's concession speech yesterday: 

"And — and to all the little girls who are watching this, never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams."

Dream big. 

Love always, Dad

Dear Eliza, One Year Old

Dear Eliza, 

A few days ago, I found my eyes leaking as you slept on my chest. You're usually the one with leaky eyes before bed, but I guess it was my turn. 

I felt overcome with emotion because it's so rare that you sleep on my chest these days, and I realized how so many moments like that will return rarely and eventually never again.

The bittersweet trade-off is that for those cherished moments that slip away, I can't wait for the next ones when you try something new or become more engaged with the world around you.

We saw an exotic slice of the world in the last month, spending two lovely weeks in Italy. You were totally resilient as we carried you through Sorrento, Tuscany, Cinque Terre, Florence and Rome. Most of that carrying was done by backpack, so your old man stayed fit as you progressively gained a little wait due to a 100% pasta diet. Nearly 10 years ago, I went to Italy for the first time on a solo trip to challenge and find myself as a newly minted college graduate. Going back and sharing an experience in Italy with you and your Mom meant so much to me. I couldn't have imagined then where we are now.

I know what you're thinking, "I don't remember the trip!" Don't worry, we'll go back again when you're older.

The language barrier reminded me of how quickly you're picking up language (mostly English, plus "Ciao"). You're speaking a lot of gibberish, which is just delightful to hear. You're so serious speaking so silly. You're not quite walking, but I think you will in coming weeks. Those Italian cobblestone streets weren't easy to practice on. 

As you know, your Mom and I had a long road to meet you. The stork refused to deliver you to us for a few years. I managed through that time period the same way I do most things, by documenting. I made this video to show you how tough and resilient your Mom was through it all. We were so motivated to bring you into the world, and to no surprise your Mom did all the hard work. Whenever you watch this video, give your Mom a squeeze. She earned it. 

Eliza, I don't have words to express how thankful I am for you, and how much I love you! This has been the best year. Better than I could have imagined. Thank you. 

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 11 Months Old

Dear Eliza,

You take after your old man because you are quite the talker. 

Morning cries that wake us turn quickly into morning conversations. When I grab you out of the crib, you have plenty to say about the owl mobile that rotates above it. On the changing table, you point to the pictures nearby and mutter one and two syllable words that usually start with m, b and d. Except for the photo of Nonno. You wave your finger like Dikembe Mutombo at the photo of my Dad, whose Italian name for grandfather sounds the same as, well, "no no." So he gets the same affectionate gesture.

On the subject of grandparents, today my Nonna and your Bisnonna, Ada Mottola, passed away. In history books, you'll read about American immigrants arriving on boats to Ellis Island, New York. She was one of them, pregnant and alone with her first child on a boat from Naples to join her husband in Seattle. That's courage.

Nonna had two lives: In one she was quiet and shy, raising five children in a successful family business. In the other she was surrounded by adult children and grandchildren with a boisterous personality resulting from of an aneurysm. I only knew the latter woman, who wouldn't shy from asking a woman the color of her bra or jumping into the arms of a reputable Elvis impersonator. 

We went to go visit Nonna last week to say goodbye. She loved holding your hand and stared at you with the love and perspective of a woman who could see how much life you have ahead of you. 

When I think of Nonna, I think of someone who wanted excitement and to live in the moment. I think we've done a bit of that this past month, going to Chicago to visit family and taking camping trips as a family at Lopez Island and with friends on the coast. We stay busy because the urgency to see and experience the world is in our blood.

Just as we're jumping from place to place, we're only half as bold as taking one big trip across the ocean to start a new life and create a legacy. One of those legacies is the restaurant you're sitting in, pictured above, one of many restaurants in a family line started by your Bisnonno and Bisnonna. That's why Seattle natives associate our last name with a decades-old restaurant institution called "Vince's."'

When I think of Nonna, I also think of Campari, which you will learn to enjoy on ice.

You're coming up on your first birthday, kiddo. The days are flying by. I'm glad we're having so much fun and making the most of every moment. 

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, Ten Months Old

Today, you're crawling. Tomorrow, you'll be driving. I'm sure of it. You're embracing each new capability of independence to explore your little world. 

The crawl started with cute, little, disconnected scoots with a motivation to get closer to books. Now you chase after everything you see and want. You follow me, your Mom and Greta around the house. Your Mom makes sure that you're wearing pants to save your knees from the hardwood floors, but they're getting tough anyway. You're like a honey badger. Honey badger doesn't care about her knees. Honey badger crawls where she wants.

Honey badger is scared of the giant, green yoga ball though.

For some reason, you decided that you are fearful of the same yoga ball that your Mom bounced you on when you were a little baby. You've probably seen the ball about every day of your life, but suddenly you've decided the ball is the scariest thing ever created. Maybe you took a soft, rubbery bump on the head when we weren't looking and that scared you straight from yoga balls. 

I have to admit, I kind of love the "scary" game. You crawl quickly to me when you see the ball and hold on tight to my shirt to make sure you don't move toward it. You'll reach out to point at the ball and mumble some jibberish to tell me all about the ball and what's wrong with it. You'll get brave and touch the ball when I'm holding you, but not without a reaction to crawl quickly up my shoulders trying to reach a high point, like a cat up a telephone pole. 

If you are fearful of taking yoga classes as an adult, we'll all know the deep-seeded reason why. 

You're also trying to stand a lot more often. Maybe motivated to learn how to get away from the yoga ball more quickly? Just last week, I found you standing in your crib, bracing the jail bars. It took me by surprise. You looked so big! I am smiling as I type this. It's strange what strikes you as a parent as a "whoa" moment. That was one of them. You looked at me like, "Oh hey, Dad. Good morning. Want to go for a run?"

I am enjoying our little conversations. In addition to "mom" and "dada," you can also say "puppy" and "baby." Good job! Of course, you tend to repeat these words over and over, but I think I am getting your points. For example, when I find you in the morning standing in your crib and you repeat, "puppy" over and over, I know it means, "Dad, Greta is under my bed again. I think she had a bad dream so she came in at 2 a.m. to hide. I told her everything is OK." Such a smart girl. 

You also have a weird, night-vision superpower. When you get bored in the crib at night, we can see you in the monitor playing a game where you find your Wubbanub pacifiers in the dark, throw them in the air and find them again. You crawl around the crib playing this game for several minutes at a time. Oh, and your ability to throw is really impressive. You may follow your Mom's college softball athletic path. I'll start calling recruiters. That throwing arm plus your smarts are a recruiter's dream.

The past month had its share of adventure. We took you to Cougar Mountain Zoo. Strangely enough, we haven't gone to nearby Point Defiance yet. Much like the yoga ball, you were scared of the animal statues decorating the park, but not the real animals themselves. The zoo was really impressive. We got to see cougars and tigers, and you were close enough to the llamas to have them lick you. 

We spent some more time at the Chaffee beach house, and I put you on a paddleboard for the first time. We had to stay close to the shore because we didn't have a proper life jacket for you, but you stayed in place and didn't get too brave. It's funny to think that you must perceive the YMCA pool to be huge, so a little corner of Puget Sound must feel like the entire ocean. 

You got to see a lot of family this past month. Your Nonno is always good about stopping by the house to play with you. Your Grandma Vicki is always asking to come over after work. We saw your Aunt Nina and cousin Harrison a couple of times, too. The first time was an ill-fated camping attempt in Bellingham. We couldn't get a camp spot, but made the most out of it hiking up to Fragrance Lake and spending time at Larrabee State Park and Lake Padden -- all my old college haunts! I never thought back then that I'd come back to those places with a daughter in a backpack. Twenty-something me gave thirty-something me a high five followed by a concerned, double-take at the sight of future hairline recession. 

You saw Aunt Nina and Harrison again back at our house. I had a work trip at Summer Outdoor Retailer in Salt Lake City for half a week and your Uncle Jeff went to Oklahoma to see his brother play soccer, so your Mom and Aunt Nina hung out. Aunt Nina also came down to Tacoma to get a new tattoo on her thigh. Aunt Nina has many tattoos and learned the hard way to find a good artist and stick to him or her. If you decide to be like your Dad and get a tattoo one day, just make sure to be smart about the placement and use a good artist. Please. If you decide to be like your Mom and leave ink off your body, all the better. Let's talk about it when the time comes.

People tend to get nervous about tattoos because of their permanence. But what's really permanent? The tattoos on my body will be gone long before this digital letter, which will likely outlive you and me. It's easy to think cosmetically about a bad haircut, body shape or skin blemishes being burdens of the day, but then forget to recycle or put more carbon emissions in the world on a commute and realize those are the real problems at hand. My failures to address those are what burden you in the big picture, not the shade of green ink on my shoulder that I wish came out darker. 

The only things that have permanence are what we create and build. Make time to create great things and don't waste your time on work that doesn't make you or a bigger community happier. That will be your legacy and mark on this place. Imagine my joy that one of my legacies is you. 

Love, Dad