Dear Eliza, 68 Months Old

We’re adapting to this new Gig Harbor lifestyle and how we’re spending our time.

On my end, working from home has become the rule instead of the exception. I can’t quantify how huge this shift is. No, wait, I can. I’m spending about 500 more hours at home annually by not commuting to an office. Some of that time is shifting to working hours, which is why companies are so inclined to embrace more remote work, and a majority of that time is shifting to more time hanging out. Of course, during my breaks I can also check in with you, go for a neighborhood walk, grab a coffee upstairs and just be more present with myself and with you. It’s a major shift and largely beneficial on all accounts.

You started a first summer camp. This one is focused on pottery. Mom signed you and Matteo up for a string of camps to help get you out of the house and connecting with more kids. That’s a good transition for you in absense of completing a school year. The pandemic created an academic “skip year” of sorts for you, so it’s good to get you back on track. Yesterday you realized that you’ll be a “new student” again at your new school, Artondale Elementary, and equated that to being welcomed by a lot of new friends. That’s exactly the right mentality. So far as this pottery camp goes, I look forward to being the receipient of some new plateware. I like these camps where I get something at the end.

Although we’ve only been in the new home for a month, we had our first chance to entertain guests this past weekend. The VanOrder famiy arrived in an RV from Indiana, by way of Denver, to visit for a couple of nights. The parents, Ben and Gwen, go way back with your Mom and we always love to host our Indiana friends. The youngest, Trevi, is a couple of years older than you, and you two hit it off. All of the kids got along well and we made maximum use of our big backyard, rain or shine. We also took the around the neighborhood, exploring Bella Bella beach and eating at Gourmet Burger Shop in downtown Gig Harbor. The dads peeled off to Heritage Distillery for some drinks.

You had such a big first day with them, you woke up the next day feeilng a little overwhelmed that our guests were still at our house and went back to bed to process it. That was the first time I saw you express your feelings about how people effect your energy — some introversion. That kind of self-awareness gets to be more important as you get older, and it can change. I personally feel like I’m getting more introverted over time, preferring smaller groups to socialize and more alone time to feel productive and recouperate.

Maybe that’s another benefit of being in Gig Harbor now: a lot more personal space. Use all of it!

Love, Dad

Dear Matteo, 47 Months Old

You just got to meet your new cousin, sort of.

We spent the weekend in Bellingham to see your Aunt Nina in her final days of pregnancy with a big, round tummy. We hadn’t seen them for the past six months due to the pandemic, so we almost missed seeing Nina’s bump entirely. Will it be a boy or a girl? We’ll know by your next letter. The out-of-womb cousins all got along great. You and Harry roughhoused as expected, and we got to hear a lot more from a verbose young Elowen.

The weekend was a nice break from all of the moving in we’re doing. It was easy getting beds and dressers in place (because we hired movers to do that). Now we’re down to the small stuff — art boxes, framed pictures — as well as junk-drawer-worthy miscellaneous items.

You’ve wasted no time taking advantage of all of the extra space here. You built racecar tracks across our furniture-less family room, canvassed your bedroom floor with monster trucks and books, and climbed the highest point of the backyard playset. Mom bought you a Paw Patrol water gun with a backpack resevoir, which you’ve used to hose down the patio and the side of the house. All in all, you’re proving out why we wanted to get more space and more house.

You have been an awesome playmate around the house, too, constantly asking if I want to play with you or work on a project together. You helped me build some of our new outdoor furniture as well as a living room chair. Sometimes we get to play and sometimes I have to disappoint you when, say, your request is at 10 a.m. on a weekday. But oh the jealousy I have that every day of the week is a play day for you. It’s just turning to be summer now and we have a lot of outdoor playtime ahead!

Love, Dad

Dear Eliza, 67 Months Old

We finally made it home!

Just a couple days ago, we moved into our new house in Gig Harbor. This has been a long time coming and required many crash pads in between. I’m not sure that you or Matteo believe we’re staying put because we’ve “moved” so many times between our Tacoma house, the Tacoma condo rental, Grandma’s house, Chaffee’s house and Gigi’s condo.

Of course, who can complain about these last couple of weeks in Palm Springs? I’ve said it before: you swim like a fish (you prefer mermaid). You are already and somehow a faster swimmer than me and swam circles around me in the pool. We need to get you signed up for a swim team soon. It might be your sport. We also played a little tennis. I’m unsure if you’re motivated by the sport or outfits (not unlike Gigi), but we’ll probably get you swinging a racket more, too. Good thing tennis clubs usually have pools.

Now that we’re home, I can assure you that we’re done with the couch surfing because I don’t want to move us or any more couches for another 15 to 20 years. You and Matteo were incredibly resilient, often more than me or Mom, in just hanging with all of the change. You stayed motivated by planning on how to decorate your new room. You’ve drawn the room many times over and inspired by the “Fancy Nancy” books we read some nights.

The night before we got here was something like Christmas Eve. You were so excited to get here. We all were. When we made it to the house, we were able to sit back (on the floor) and relax. Because of aforementioned unwilingness to move couches again, I hired a moving company who got everything into our house in mere hours, so now we’re unpacking for what appears to be weeks to put the our lives back together.

We’re going to have a lot of fun here, and we’ll get to documenting it as soon as I can find my camera in one of these dozens of bags and boxes.

Love, Dad

Dear Matteo, 46 Months Old

This in-between-houses phase isn’t so bad afterall.

We are crashing for a couple weeks with Grams in Palm Desert. It’s sort of like an extended vacation. Of course, Grams is so happy to be temporary roomates and witness all of your constant enthusiasm and energy. You’re getting some of that energy out in the pool every day, 4-6 hours to be exact. You’ve got that sensitive Mottola skin, so while you tan really well (pigment courtesy of Mom), your skin gets really dry. There have been a few big scream sessions when Mom puts the wrong lotion on you at night. Yikes.

All that time in the water is paying off in swimming confidence. We started you in a lifejacket the first few days but have left them behind as you’ve progressed. You can swim with head above water in a doggy paddle about 1/3 the length of the pool. That’s great and mostly checks off “survival swimming.” You’ve tested out goggles but are still unwilling to put your head underwater to swim. That will be your next breakthrough. In contrast, Eliza has a goggle mask and spends most of her time swimming underwater. That mental limitation doesn’t bother you as you’re happy enough paddling around with a big cheesy grin that everyone can see.

I bet you’re enjoying some new strength when you swim. You’re still a really tall and strong kid for your age. We met a couple kids at Joshua Tree Visitor’s Center who were exactly the same age as you and Eliza. The boy was a little older but you had him by at least 4 inches in height. Not just visibly growing, you’ve had a vocabulary explosion of multisyllabic words. You’ll say “Here’s the situation” to introduce a topic. You describe animals at the zoo as “incredible.” You’re pretty incredible, too, kid.

We still have half a week here in the desert and we’ll survive by some combination of suntan lotion, popsicles, naps and palomas (for Mom and Dad). This is the good life.

Love,
Dad

Dear Eliza, 66 Months Old

We’ve had a busy last few weeks that started with finally getting on an airplane again. You inherited my excitement for air travel and counted down the days like I did. You also counted down the takeoff from 10 down 1 about 28 times over on the plane before we actually took off. You are very good at counting backwards, just not knowing when to time your start.

We flew to Indiana for a long overdue visit (Thanks a lot, COVID) to see Grammie and Popa. We flew in and out of Indianapolis with original plans to spend a night or two there and explore the city. We decided best to just get to Fort Wayne but enjoyed the scenic route by road that included a pit stop at Ivanhoes diner near evangelical Taylor University, in Upland, Indiana. That diner had 100 different ice cream sundae and milkshake options! It was tough for all of us to focus on dinner before dessert, but I have to say they had a great tenderloin sandwich, too. It’s all so deliciously Midwest.

This was an important visit not just because of the lapsed time but because of the tough battle Grammie has with a type of lung cancer. Our visit was so important to give her a little boost near the end of her radiation and chemotherapy treatment. Your Grammie is one tough cookie going through this 10 years after a first cancer treatment. Grammie definitely looked different from the last time we saw her. Her head was shaved, though she often wore a hat, and her skin looked dark and tan as some reaction to the treatment. We said she looked like she just got back from Mexico, not chemo.

Grammie was tired and slept a lot through the day, but you and your brother kept spirits high and entertained us with your hummingbird energy. I also appreciated how, despite the time and distance, you both quickly got back into a comfortable groove with Grammie and Popa, just being your silly selves. The copious amounts of candy between visits to the Grabill stores and a front yard Easter egg hunt didn’t hurt.

It took a litlle longer for you to warm up to your Uncle Ty, Aunt Amber, Abby and soaring-tall Mason. Eventually you wanted to spend a lot of time with Abby. No kid can resist a super cool high school-aged cousin. You two spent a lot of the day building a miniture village out of yard plants.

I am also thankful that Grammie and Popa watched you two so Mom and I could take some long runs and walks on the flat, endless Indiana farm roads. There is something pretty special about that place, or it’s just special to me because that’s where your Mom grew up.

We also got to see your two great-grandmothers, Barbara and Chicken. Because we don’t video call them or see them as much as you do Grammie and Popa, you were a lot more shy around them. Again, I appreciated you “acting like a big kid” by answering questions and taking some photos with them. These are important meetings with great-grandparents who get to enjoy knowing you are part of their legacy and have a lifetime of perspective for where you came from and what may be ahead. We’re all part of the same line.

I remember a couple of instances seeing my Nonno Enzo later in his life and still early in mine. We didn’t have a close relationsihp due to the infrequency but I could tell the meetings were really important to my parents, and I answered questions about school and soccer and took photos. While those felt a little bit like forced fun at the time, I can also see the importance of those connections looking back, simply because generations always stretch too far away too quickly by time and space.

After our visits and goodbyes, we flew home and got back into our routine between the sold Tacoma house and condo layover. Your Mom and I grinded the last of our moves out of the house and into a storage unit, constantly reminding ourselves that we should never move again. We left you and Matteo to Grandma Vicki for some combinatin of days so we could get it done. You’ll be helpful movers in another decade, just not this one.

To change scenery again, we spent the last few days at Bridger and Bennett’s house while they are on a family vacation in Hawaii. You two are getting a kick out of playing with all of their toys in their very large house and yard, including a big trampoline. Aunt Courtney also has the house overloaded with candy that no Mottola at any age can ever resist. You walked into the room I was working in yesterday with a sketch of Matteo dashing upstairs with stolen candy. It’s as if you’re a courtroom illustrator documenting the series of testimony in near real time. Or that’s just a really creative way to tattle.

I don’t mind the sugar overload. We are pretty flexible famiy and you are “go with the flow” kids but these weeks and months of transition simply aren’t easy all the time. We aren’t meant to float around. We’re meant to be rooted and grow. Being less than a couple miles a way from our next house, I see our ability to get rooted again literally around the corner. Then it’s back to protein and vegetable diets. Enjoy the candy surplus while it lasts.

Love, Dad