Today this blog reached the 30,000 hit milestone. For all the attention you've given me, I feel like I should give something back.
Whereas I rarely divulge into any personal information here, I give you this: I'm broadening my horizon and will explore online dating -- this generation's social phenomenon. Congrats to all those who have been hasseling me about this for months. You win.
Top 10 Reasons Why I'm Taking the Plunge:
- Like with politics, statistics can be used as compelling evidence. I did the math and realized that I haven't dated in approximately two years and haven't pursued a girl for approximately six years. Enough said.
- My wingmen are dropping like flies.
- I know a lot of really cool women who are online dating, so if that's where the kind of women I'd like to meet are going, I'm logging in. It's logical.
- I know lots of people who have met their significant others, spouses, psychos, etc., online. I'm aiming to avoid the psychos, for the record.
- I'm in really, really good shape right now.
- Hell, it's safer than meeting women out and about. I'm not talking like physical safety. I'm talking about the circumstance that women are saying openly online, "Date me." It's tough trying to read who's single and straight at the bars sometimes. This is so much easier. And God bless hot lesbians, to that point.
- I'd like to expand the focuspoint fanbase.
- This is totally on a whim. This blog post is on a whim. It's more fun that way.
- I'm online-oriented, can't you tell?
- Lastly, I've realized that I've been doing a great disservice to the women of Seattle by not being more social. The fact is, there are a lot of douche bag, idiot guys out there that are wasting women's time. I hear you ladies. I'm answering your call.
So, like one of my heroes, Tucker Max, I am opening myself to the online dating game. I don't know how aggressively I'll pursue this, but I'm no longer closing myself to the possibility of meeting someone online. It's a baby step.
I'm putting a profile up on The Stranger's Lovelab, like a friend of mine has, and I'll see what happens. I like Lovelab because the questions are interesting and because I like reading The Stranger and like people who read The Stranger. If you're one of the many girls who reads this blog (and The Stranger) and is seriously thinking this is your chance to make a move, check out my profile there, but I warn you. You have to meet the following criteria:
- You must have confidence. You must have a job you like and know your interests. I have a low tolerance for 20-somethings who don't know what they want to do in life. I figured it out. So should you.
- You must have dark features and look something like a Kate Beckinsale, Evangeline Lilly or Rachel McAdams (in "Wedding Crashers," not "Mean Girls"). No exaggeration here. I stay fit and have good genes. I'm looking for the same. Why shouldn't I?
- You must have high standards and goals for yourself. Obviously I do.
- You must want to travel, as often as possible, and bake me cookies. Those activities can happen seperately.
- You must be compatible with an arrogant narcissist because that's who I am.
Now, if you're a girl who's ready to comment on this post and write, "Good luck with that, you idealistic, heartless bastard. You're the reason women have body image issues. No wonder you haven't dated for awhile," you lack the final and most important quality I'm looking for: a sense of humor. If you take half the shit I say seriously, especially on this blog, then you will not pass Go and not collect $200. Capiche?
Wish me luck.