One more month.
Timing is a powerful thing. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis just came out with the song "Growing Up (Sloane's Song)," and it hit me in the chest the first time I heard it. I replayed it. I played it again.
There's something about hearing the words of a soon-to-be dad talking about what he expects of his fatherhood experience. I'm in that cohort.
The Ed Sheeran hook... "I'll be patient one more month..." That's about how far we are away from our new arrival.
I know some other rap songs with similar sentiment. I'm sure there are some rock and country songs about fatherhood, but rap music is all that comes to mind for me. Nas wrote "Daughters." Blue Scholars had a line: "I'm a more mindful guy ever since finding out that I'm about to be a father, and doubt is not an option."
Doubt is not an option. That sticks with me. There's no turning back from here. I don't have bad habits to clean up like those songs allude to, but it's more about the lack of wisdom and direction that you expect a parent to have that I don't feel I have yet. There's doubt in that feeling, but I am imagining a near future where I will have two eyes looking back at me, and only one of us gets to be helpless.
I'm looking forward to growing more as a person as my daughter grows in all directions. I can be patient one more month for that journey.