Welcome to your Tin Can era.
Over the past few months, you’ve cautiously started asking when you can get your own phone. That makes sense—some of your friends already have them for a variety of reasons. In some cases, like Bennett needing one to help manage his Type 1 Diabetes, it’s clearly necessary.
For parents in my generation, the age when kids get phones—and access to social media—is one of the most debated topics. That’s because there are real risks and behaviors that come with it. Your Mom and I have decided to wait until high school before getting you a smartphone. I expect that decision will lead to some disagreements over the next few years, and that’s okay.
At the same time, I know that tweens (that’s you) want more independence and more ways to connect with friends. I’ve been there. Your Mom can tell you about the hours-long phone calls she had with her friends growing up. And honestly, it helps us as parents too—not having to coordinate every social interaction.
That’s where the Tin Can comes in. It’s a great in-between step toward more independence and responsibility.
We ordered one for you and Matteo for Christmas, and after a long wait due to high demand, it finally arrived!
The Tin Can is intentionally simple. It’s a screenless, internet-free phone that looks and feels like an old-school landline, with a corded handset and physical buttons. It even has a dial tone and those familiar sounds when you press a number. At the same time, it’s designed for kids. You can only call and receive calls from numbers your parents approve through an app.
I’ll never forget the first time you made a call. You had to dial Grandma’s number yourself, quickly and carefully finding each number. Once it started ringing, you instinctively held the phone to your ear instead of looking at it like a video call. You introduced yourself, carried on a conversation based on what you heard—not what you could see—and without filters or emojis. Your Mom and I helped with a few prompts along the way.
After that, you called a friend with a Tin Can on a couple of consecutive nights, and you’ve received a few calls too. I have to admit, it’s a little strange not knowing who’s calling, but I also forgot how fun that surprise can be.
What I love most is that you haven’t become glued to it, and that’s exactly the point. Unlike smartphones or even iPads (which you now have), the Tin Can isn’t designed to keep you hooked. You use it when you actually want to connect, not just because it’s there.
I hope you lean into that. Spend time in real conversations. Build friendships through talking and listening. That’s something I really loved at your age—and for now, it’s your only option!